Universe Online

by Viken

Original Action Adventure Comedy Drama Romance Sci-fi Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Sexual Content
(Thank you Drakannon for the Cover Art!)

My name is Allec Renn, and I was born with ALS.

For those of you who don't know what that is, it stands for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis. It basically means that I lost the ability to control my muscles. Its just like Lou Gehrig and Stephen Hawking.

By the time I was 6 years old, I was living in a hospital, and from there things progressively got worse. I cannot walk, talk, eat or even go to the bathroom by myself. But there is one thing I can do. Playing games.

The advent of Virtual Reality during my early teens greatly alleviated my problems. In the games I can be who I want, what I want. A mighty warrior, a powerful spellcaster, the charming rogue. The crafter. The builder.

All sorts of games have come and gone over the years, rising and falling with each advance in VR technology and the ever-increasing power of the Artificial Intelligence's that control them.

But now a new actor has taken to the stage. Solar Dynamics, Inc. has unveiled not only the first fully immersive 'deep' Dive Pod, but their flagship game puts all other VR games to shame.

Universe Online.

No longer are players stuck on a single large world to explore. No longer is there a limit to what you can do, what you can be. Fly spaceships across the universe, conquer planets, create custom technology. Mine, Build, Destroy. Explore. Rule.

Do you have what it takes the control the Universe?

I'm going to do my best to find out!

-NOTE: This story is MATURE, and such has graphic fight scenes, blood and gore. Also cursing. Quite a bit of that in some cases. Sex may also be involved.

-NOTE: Like my other story, UO is a work in progress. The storyline, characters, and other things are still in the drafting stages. Also, excuse my spelling and grammar errors!
  • Overall Score
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Viken

Viken

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No_one
  • Overall Score

This story is one of the few I love.

It doesn't have a dense main character, the main character is great, the story is great and the MC is also balanced. Also no terrible romance.

Also one of the few fictions that have sci-fi. This is a must read for all sci-fi lovers (or any reader in the world.)

 

gman
  • Overall Score

A good Si-fi adveture it seems

The story is off to a good start, the MC might be able to spend his life in the game and get around that whole real life getting in the way of the game.  Setting looks good and the writing is solid, cant wait for more! 

kevbobb
  • Overall Score

Main character is great. I like the story. Keep it up.

Zephon
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i rarely personally give reviews to new fictions  and even more so to ones in the top 50# but yours is a special case.

 

Style:  you have a nice way of progression and transitioning things what i enjoy most is that you detail how things are done and not have ass things such as  fixing a console isnt a simple case of plugging in a cord and hacking it. 

 

i enjoy the way you manage to keep the excitement of the chapters in a decent flow there isnt a dull moment is the best way to put it.

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Story: now i have seen an enormus ammount of fantasy & VR and even more so Fantasy + VR its good to see a new change of pace and something different. i myself have not dared to do VR or fantasy because of the stats and tables i would find it to annoying. 

 

but you took something that requires more thought then fantasy which is sci-fi which has an infinite ammount of potential to work with when it comes to tables so it is much harder to find the right ones to add but you seemed to have so far done this well. story is a 5 because since this is the first sci-fi/vr story i have seen that in itself deserves the score for inovating i suppose so keep it up :)

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Grammar: in all honesty im no one to speak even i have to get someone to pr my story but this is directed to words you use in the story. you manage to use a more advanced vocabulary and add witty and more interesting words to the fray which is something i enjoy 

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Charecter: i guess this requires real thought. it is to early for me to make a judgement on this but so far im enjoying his personality someone who doesent seem to give up and has funny moments of frustration and suprise he has potential to grow so im looking forward to how he advances.

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Overall: allthough this review is subject to change you deserve full 5/5 stars for everything. i just hope you know the direction your story is going one thing some storys do which annoys me is introduce annoying side charecters that want to be with the mc just because he is interesting or are romanticly involved with him.

 

if you manage to make the side charecters likeable and not make the mc sensetive to romance towards his opposite i will be amazed. other then that so far im enjoying it hopefully you upload more chapters soon good job :)

llltiagolll
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Inconsistencies and problems

I like the story a lot, but theres a bunch of Inconsistencies and problems.

LUCK: why the hell is there luck in a sci-fi world, and even more why do the drune rex gain a 400% bonus in it.

Advanced Character Creation Package: WAY OP! Enormous bonuses, small downside. PLUS a lot of Character Creation Points

Aspect Web: Sounds very nice but its incredibly hard to manage with many aspects and aptitudes plus the difference between a aspect and a aptitude is illusive in the best possibilities after all it depends of the application, its chaos. ZERO-G --> lack of gravitational energy (aspect) Gliding -->action(aspect) Energy manipulation--> Energy form plus a action (aptitude). Speed--> variable (aptitude) Flying-> kind of movement (aspect) Movement --> (aptitude) WELL, WHAT IS THE LOGIC WHICH SAYS WHAT IS WHAT?

Titles: The way some are gained, the effect of others.

Derelict Explorer: way too easy to get and too specific, not explorer or scavenger but Derelict Explorer.

Darkness Eternal: Unbelievable easy to get, its a title but gives Night Vision, a body enhancement, in a Sci-fi world. Night Vision Aspect barely ok, a title: no way in hell, and its too convenient.

Truth Hunter: too easy to get.+10% Research and Study gains--> wow, he did o lot of those to gain that bonus, not. And the universe wide notice later is something that should have the authorization of Allec, do you want to publicize this or not? doing so would only create problems.

Civilization Rescuer: Too specific, Saviour would have been better and considering how things are going, a promotion to Messiah will soon be in order. Bonus: 100% bonus to Charisma and Command when helping others or good impression among those in dire situations. NOT +20% Rebuilding (resources and infrastructure) gains.  ITS NOT REBUILDER Title and he didn't even truly rebuild anything yet.

The PODS, too easy to get to them but thats already a trait by now. At least he must have problems to get the society able to house all of them right, RIGHT?

 

LAST and more importantly, he got freaking DREXilized and nobody cared, WHAT THE HELL??????

At least a explanation for this is in place, right?

 

 

Sedahodis
  • Overall Score

Amazing, original story after a long time. :D

Wingsolution
  • Overall Score

Scifi lives, and you must read it!

Maybe not with a doctorate like the old masters, but A realistic Scifi offering is found within these threads(pages).

I have no idea what I'm saying right now, but I'm loving this story. I can feel the struggle. Reveling in every victory, and cursing every defeat... not that there's too many of those yet.

The start is very balanced. the MC has to think his way out of death, but the tools necessary to do so are within his reach. a very solid highly recommended read. The surprises and twists keep you on the edge of your seat...

and craving more!

 

Phalkor
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 It's an VRMMORPG in a fantastic sci-fi universe.  Overcoming hardships of the body with the power of the mind.  

Kheldor
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Loving this and the genre!

 absolutely bloody brilliant cannot wait for more! you have my attention sir!

Magus
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This space Si-Fi starts with the MC catapulted into the unknown, where he has to make do with what is at hand. Great start. Provides for versatility ^^

Fun read, hope to read more soon ;-)