Delvers LLC

by BlaiseCorvin

Original Action Adventure Fantasy LitRPG Sci-fi Magic Martial Arts Multiple Lead Characters Strategy Supernatural
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Gore

*Note: This is the unpublished version*

**All chapters for Book 1 coming back 1/2017**

Henry and Jason led normal lives in Seattle before they were abducted to another world. Their kidnapper, the vain, self-styled god Dolos refuses to send them back unless they can accomplish an impossible task. Oddly, Dolos doesn't seem to care if they succeed or not.

 

Luckily, Henry and Jason studied Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) on Earth. Unfortunately, a Japanese American EMT and a geeky IT programmer don’t have many other useful skills on a sword and sorcery world like Ludus.

Thus, with no direction and only a few possessions including two magic-granting orbs from an apathetic god, the two begin their insane adventure to return home.

 


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Author
BlaiseCorvin

BlaiseCorvin

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1 - Another Planet (contains art) ago
Chapter 2 - Goblins ago
Chapter 3 - Battle in the Cave (contains art) ago
Chapter 4 - The Village ago
Chapter 5 - The World ago
Chapter 6 - Using the Orbs ago
Chapter 7 - Cut and Dust ago
Chapter 8 - Wagon Stage ago
Chapter 9 - Battle with the Demon Wolves ago
Chapter 10 - The Long Road to Mirana ago
Chapter 11 - Mareen's Heart Song ago
Chapter 12 - Mareen's Resolve ago
Chapter 13 - Bread Heel ago
Chapter 14 - Blame ago
Chapter 15 - Unleashed ago
Chapter 16 - Mirana Guard ago
Chapter 17 - The Jaguar Clan ago
Chapter 18 - Names and Nudity ago
Chapter 19 - Deals and Deception ago
Chapter 20 - Ring of Truth ago
Chapter 21 - Delvers LLC ago
Chapter 22 - Metal vs Stone ago
Chapter 23 - Message in a Bottle ago
Chapter 24 - Ancient Eyes ago
Chapter 25 - Bullets of Bronze ago
Chapter 26 - Bandit Cages ago
Chapter 27 - Bandit Secrets ago
Chapter 28 - Bandits, Bandits Everywhere ago
Chapter 29 - Collapse ago
Chapter 30 - Bandaged in Bed ago
Chapter 31 - Loot Room ago
Chapter 32 - Risky Business ago
Chapter 33 - Delvers LLC Garage ago
Change in Delvers LLC chapter releases ago
ISSTH Fanfic contest entry ago
Chapter 34 - Blood Fire ago
Chapter 35 - Triggerman ago
Chapter 36 - Battlewagon ago
Chapter 37 - Yanbei Cavern Assault ago
Chapter 38 - Blades of Air ago
Chapter 39 - Overcoming Barriers ago
Chapter 40 - Writing on the Wall (End of Book One) ago
---Author Update 7/16 ago
--Author Update 7/25/2016 ago
Delvers LLC short story - Bittertown ago
Book 2 - Delvers LLC: Adventure Capital ago
B2 Chapter 1 - Mirana Summons ago
B2 Chapter 2 - Magic Tech ago
B2 Chapter 3 - Stepped on Tails ago
B2 Chapter 4 - Bush with Death ago
B2 Chapter 5 - Ignoble Nobility ago
Huge, huge news. Seriously. ago
B2 Chapter 6 - Enchantment Emporyum ago
Delvers LLC is on sale today on Amazon! ago
B2 Chapter 7 - Fancy Nuptials ago
I am thinking about taking down chapters for book one ago
KU Announcement ago
B2 Chapter 8 - Purple Triangles ago
B2 Chapter 9 - Crouching Keeja, little Aodh ago
Sorry for the delay! Plus, a new book suggestions page ago
B2 Chapter 10 - Powerleveled ago
B2 Chapter 11 - Culture Shock ago
B2 Chapter 12 - Culture Club ago
B2 Chapter 13 - Change of Plans ago
B2 Chapter 14 - Necessary Input ago
B2 Chapter 15 - Approaching Storm ago
B2 Chapter 16 - Unraveled ago
Chapters for Book One, Welcome to Ludus are up again! ago
Delvers LLC: Welcome to Ludus has an audio book! ago
Reviews

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Nicbrightside
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A decent story marred by several instances of cringe worthy stupidity written into the actions of the main characters.

(Review up to chapter 13)

 

Style:

 A strong point of the fiction as a whole. While this may follow the simple 'transported to another world' tag line freshness is brought to the entire setting with the addition of bromance. No longer is it someone and their internal monologue figuring the new world out, instead it is two very organic beings capable of humour and reasoning. This adds much depth to figuring out what is what and what to do, thinking out loud allows for greater quirks and character traits of those in discussion to be voiced, making it a more pleasant experience. 

 

 Paragraph and sentence structure is well laid out and easy on the eyes. The chapters are of decent size, not too short but certainly not the largest updates you can find on this site.

 

Story:

As previously mentioned the story is that of the 'transported to another world' trope, not the most imaginative idea but it has its own little flavour of this not being a case of 'go and save the world' and more of 'I'm a god, I'm bored, run around in my world and entertain me' allowing for much greater freedom in terms of where the story is headed. The pacing is decent with good, visceral action when necessary. Currently the main characters' goals seem rather mundane, which is refreshing as they are still in the 'settling in' phase of being in a new world, no need for big baddies to come out of the wood work yet or anytime soon in my opinion.

 

 The fantasy setting and magic systems are nicely made, as with many stories that use these two pieces I'm sure expansion on the subjects will be added when needed.

 

Grammar:

 Excellent grammar, only with a little bit here or there wrong, but barely noticeable.

 

Character: (WARNING THIS SECTION WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS)

 The two main characters have well crafted personalities, I have the feeling a lot of thought went into them and their personal back stories, making them feel like two separate people and not just something conjoined at the hip like some duos end up being. They are shown to be courageous but not stupidly so, intelligent but not obnoxious...here in lies what I believe to be a glaring problem.

 

 The fact these two have shown to be smart; To think ahead, to plan, to be level headed and rational and to even come up with solutions on the fly (such as using the rocks as projectiles against the wolves) makes me want to smash my face into a nearby desk when they do something so stupid and out of character. Firstly this happens in regards to having their machete stolen. They've seen that a gun with steel components literally disintegrated and every other chapter someone made a comment to how valuable 'blessed steel' was. So why, why oh why was this mythical weapon able to be stolen by some country bumpkin? Are you telling me this thing was left in a place away from them? Are you telling me neither of the two men who just saved dozens of people from evil monsters was awake during the night taking shifts? Hell was no one else on watch?!? It felt like such an obvious plot write in that I just stared at the screen for several seconds going 'what...what...'

 

 So maybe we can chalk this act of absolute ineptitude up to a 'oh it'll make them think a lot more about people and consequences', I had hoped so too. Boy was I wrong. But a few chapters later and we have the classic 'child asking for help into ambush' set up that anyone (hell even one of the main characters) can see from a mile away. Does he yell at his friend that its an obvious trap? Bitch slap some sense into him? No. He gets up and follows him, I mean at this point they probably deserve to get stabbed in an alleyway, right?

 

 Even if that may have been a rant I don't hate the main characters per say, in fact I think 99% of the time they are very likeable and well written. But I must beg that these fits of inane, out of character stupidity stop. It feels quite literally like negative plot armour. I can only guess that these were nothing more than for plot progression. The loss of the machete to facilitate the heroine of the story saving the day to get their dungeoneering group up and running rather than selling the weapon. Following the child into an alleyway to facilitate being captured. Perhaps I'm wrong, however if I am right are you sure you couldn't have come up with something better that didn't require the heroes acting so out of character?

 

 As of now only three side characters have been introduced (2 if you discount the god of the world) to any markable degree, but they are nicely constructed and feel as if they are built correctly into the world. Beyond that however anyone else with a name is unnoticeable, fleeting at best.

 

Overall:

 I like it. The style, story and grammar are good and the characters for the most part are interesting. Of course I have voiced what I dislike about this tale plenty already, I may simply be completely alone in this regard, but then again a review is nothing more than personal opinion.  

IronJello
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[Clever Review Title Here]

Okay. Lets focus first on how I found this objectively silly fiction. In short, it came up on the promote my fiction forum page and I clicked.

Upon reading the synopsis I somehow got it in my head (combined with the name) that this group would be transported to a new world, and instead of going on adventures – they would train others to do all the adventuring! I was excited to read a vaguely new premise upon the ‘hurrah, random god transported me’ concept. This did not happen, I apparently can’t read, and enjoyed the story anyway.

The god in question is aggravating, as intended. However the generally described backstory as to why people are transported to Random Planet X is mildly interesting. To briefly sum it up – there’s something here the a god wants to know more about. Enter our main characters, destined to be jerked around and slowly lead up towards mystery reveal. Anything more specific may be a spoiler.

Here are a few issues – the powers these characters get are very easily abused. The method by which they’re done implies a lot of unequal power levels between people. As we follow two people through we find out they’re ‘closely matched’ for whatever reason. Go team friendship. #brosbeforehoes but #bringontheharem – which leads me to point two.

The author at some point must have paid attention to world construction when creating harem ideas. It’s implied such issues will happen later but all characters are still in the awkward introduction phase. Time frame wise – at the currently released content – I think we’re like a month or two into transportation to another world. The development and pace are a bit misleading as they basically jump from one adventure to the next rapidly. Going “Monster 1, save the towns people, monster 2, save more towns people, girls get” and so on. It’s not bad, and the story is done with vague sensibility with respects to character relationships.

Here are some real issues – the layout of the story uses colored fonts – and thank god I’m not color blind because reading red, or green on a black or white background is the absolute balls. My recommendation is to use #preparetoscreaminhorror – windows to make those words pop out better. #screamsthenfaints #crimesagainsttheorderoffictions #burnthewitch

Conversations feel forced and annoying in some cases. The two people have a heart to heart and paragraph spacing is done in such a way that it makes an already force situation feel clunky. And in sheer repetition of he, she, she, he, and she words and you may just bang your head against a table. A rewrite could smooth it out.

Honest to god there were times I couldn’t tell the difference between the two main characters. We hear their personality traits but how they physically look is beyond me. The side chicks are described however and important details get mentioned now and then which helps. Heck there’s even a few pictures scattered around with the promise of more eventually.

The story itself uses some standard ideas (Transported every man to another world gets X power and proceeds to …I dunno, roam/murder/topple those in power) and attempts to apply a logical setting to the situation. For this alone it’s worth scanning a chapter or two as there’s a high level of implied seriousness to the story. I, for one, am tied of every story being a ‘light hearted journey of the OP man and his friend zoned harem' and this made me happy.

hvethrungr
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A Well Written, Interesting Story

Snapshot:


Delvers LLC is a unique story with an immaculate attention to both world detail and character building. The different cultures Blaise has created are incredibly interesting, he's not only managed to create a unique, detailed world, but fascinating civilizations and people to go along with it. Grammar wise, Delvers is near perfect, the slight hiccups hardly distract from the big picture.

 

Style:

Blaise's style of writing is something you hardly see on RRL, a fantastic blend of classical and modern writing. He manages to breath life into his characters and locations with his words. After some minor edits, I would not be surprised finding this on the shelf of a bookstore.

 

Story:

Delvers LLC is superbly unique, yet at the same time familiar. Old style fantasy elements and his detailed world setting merge into something immersive and wonderful. It's a refreshing taste after the hordes of generic litRPG worlds I've seen lately. Blaise's exploration of culture and the people who live on his world is intriguing. He digs deep into what the minds of beastmen and (space!) elves might be like, and uses his findings to create intricate culture, breathing an extra level of life into his side characters, something that's sorely lacking from many other stories. After the level of detail in these traditions and cultures we've been shown, I can't help but be excited to learn more about this matriarchal society we've been given a taste of as of chapter twenty. I get the feeling that Blaise will manage to somehow use that facet of his world to advance his character development to new levels. I only have one issue with Delvers LLC, and it is a minor one that can be fixed easily. Plot holes. I've noticed a few, the most major being the fact that in the first explanation of what the orbs do, they were said to give understanding of the Luda language. In the second explanation, it was ALL languages used on Ludus. Contrary to the second explanation, however, the main characters were unable to understand the language used by the beastmen. Upon fixing this and other minor errors I will explain below, I will have no problems with this story.

 

Grammar:

For most of the later chapters of the story, the grammar is impeccable. Nothing else to say there. However, in earlier chapters, the dialogue and general scene description can be awkward at times. Reading through, I occasionally had to pause and go over a sentence or two just to make sure I read it right. Some self and peer reviewing is necessary to get the earlier chapters just right.

 

Character:

All of Blaise's characters are fantastic, particularly the side characters. He breaths a life into them that's rarely seen on other stories on this site. He's created multiple functioning, lively societies that intermingle and relate intricately. His characters aren't just words on a page, they're people.

His two main characters, on the other hand, are done. Just done. Not well done, not badly done, but done. I can see the potential for awesome characters, but right now, I just can't quite get into their heads enough to really understand them. At times, this means some of their actions can be confusing or misleading. Most of the dialogue is comprehensible, but leaves little in the way of understanding the MCs at a deeper level. I don't know if Blaise is planning on rectifying this in later chapters, or it was just a case of inexperience, but either way I'd like to see a little more work done on them.

 

Side note: Congratulations, me, on a successful first full review! Woohoo!

DyingPhoenix
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The story i feel has a pretty original take on the "taken from your home/world and finding yourself in a fantasy setting" genre. The characters are likable for the most part. Simply put, i like it

bobnini
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Amazing character personality and feels

Well im in love with this history, the sad part is that you get little views, this work of art need to be more famous but anyway.

The history and the plot about the universe and the god is good, i really like it.But what i like the most is that you change the POV of the characters and every character has his own personality and realistic feels, that is a great thing that is often missing in other fics. The way they act and everything is really magic, i ended a marathon of about 6 hours straight reading this. If this novel had 300 chapters, i would probably read everything in a marathon and spend my time only reading, XD. But anyways, its a amazing story and i hope you dont drop it and can keep the work, even with the low views, your work is really good

todogarcia
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i love the story, it has been entertaining and with right suspend that makes you come back to it, I will give you an advance review but i'm not  good writing then. i will say the story is 5 starts, the style is 5 starts, i dont know about grammar since english is not my first language but im sure is between 4 and 5. Everything else is 4.5, but I still think this has an overall 5 start, since you keep me interesting in it, and I can say for certain that no all stories can do the same.

thank for such wonderful story,

ps. when i have some extra money i will buy your book

antioch75
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Sometimes it is hard for me to sit down and review a web story. I have a real urge to sit down and read a book, cover to cover in one sitting, and having all the breaks just bothers me sometimes.  

However saying that the author has done a very good job of not continuously leaving things on cliff hangers, and just giving a good set of well rounded episodes.

Overall I like the story and character development as well. I fell all the chars are actually people and not simply constructs.

Runar
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Loved the story, though i read the amazon book. 

kentusrpg
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Earned to be published!

Read up to Book 2 Chapter 2

 

Delvers LLC is a good read, even though I had some trouble picking it up at first, after the first discomfort I got hooked up on it. If you read a story not in one session, but over the course of more than a week, because of your busy schedule, it has to be good. Otherwise you wouldn't return every day.

 

The use of the English language in this fiction is way above what you can usually read on RRL, even the small mistakes here and there are not greatly influencing the experience. The style was something I had to get used to and I think, it flows better after the first few chapters, but it serves its purpose most of the time. Switching between the two MCs (and sometimes you get to see the POV of a side-character) is a good way to confer different perspectives about similiar situations, which leaves room for you, the reader, to decide, what's actually going on. Just because Jason see it one way, doesn't mean that Henry won't see it another and with these two points of view, you have a good basic to judge what's right, what's wrong and what's happening between the lines.

 

The start of the first book is a bit unfocused, just like the characters are. There is no immediate quest or destiny to fulfill, there are only two guys, who got into another world with an explanation, which is infuriating. Over the course of the book, there are minor goals and a rough plotline is given, bit by bit a picture is painted.

At the start of the second book, it goes to an entirely new direction, since Henry and Jason had some time to establish something, I'm interested where this is heading and if it that new direction will benefit the story or not. But be prepared, that the whole tone of the story will change at the start of the second book.

 

The setting is well-thought (even though it's a bit irritating, that Blaise considered many things I did with my own fiction, even though he got other answers), but sometimes details comes a bit out of the blue, not necessary illogical, but there was no proper preperation at all (for example the powerful Jaguar-clan or Mareen's mathematical talent). All serves the story, but you have to be open about these changes and I hope, that these things will be fixed in the published version.

 

Finally, the characters... that's a bit hard to do. Jason and Henry start off more or less as an unseparable team joined by the hip, more like on character with two POVs. This is good for concentrating on the plot, but bad for introducing the characters as their own. At times I had problems to discern at the start, if Jason or Henry was the one speaking and which one had Asian heritage. Which is really confusing, especially since I got sometimes details mixed up. But that may be me, not being native English-speaker. ^^'

But there is clearly another reason: Dolos! This antagonist begins with a BANG! and ends with a BA-DUM!, overshadowing both, Jason and Henry, at the start. Dolos is a great character with much impact, and I think many readers will return to the story, only to see him again! And some others will love to hate him!

The farther the story proceeds, the better I got the MCs right. Both of them started with their unique actions and did a well job in having different relationships with different characters, marking both of them as individuals, even though their friendship remains. Also, they do mistakes, like real persons. Fiction characters, which only act in-character aren't believable. People don't always behave like they usually do. Sometimes Jason is more irritated at Henry, other times he's all cool, just like a real person. Sometimes Henry is better at reading the mood and then there are times, were he's even more incapable of doing it than normal. Characters which aren't running on a programm are great. Thus my rating.

The side-characters are also interesting enough, but I'd like to see more of them. Especially Keeja.

 

My rating is based on personal enjoyment and I had a great time with Delvers LLC so far. Keep going! :D

Michael Chatfield
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Been reading through for a while now (Hard to get away and write a review while I'm trapped reading chapter to chapter :D). Great read, entertaining and smart.

Have a few issues with characterization, but that is me just being picky. Overall very interesting and good story! Sorry the review is so short, I'm going back to reading! :D