Life in New World (LNW)

by olyver

Original
Yukiro (15 years old), was in a traffic accident that caused him to progressively lose all five senses and become paralized for life. As an apology, the company Future V. grants him lifelong access to their new VR game New World. This is the story of his new life in a new World.
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olyver

olyver

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TheKingsofEden
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Mostly good and enjoyable, some weak areas

Style:  I enjoy the overall writing style as it is both easy to read and understand as well as is engaging.  The character is not overpowered, per se, and the high stats are the result of his hard work, not simply due to ridiculous luck or otherwise. 

Story:  I enjoy the storyline, although I do wonder what his motivation is going to be once he completes the Master Training Center.  Is there going to be some miracle that restores his body?  I vaguely recall Alex Joy mentioning something about him being more muscular after starting the game than before, and it could be that the in-game divinity bestow on his body some sort of healing/permafix to his problem.  On the other hand, he doesn't really have many interesting adventures in this fantastical world that are not directly related to a training method to make his skills grow.

Grammar:  It is wonderful.  It is in English (no offense to ESL writers, but the stories can be very difficult to read through when ESL, and I always wonder if they used a translation software to see how their writing compared to the translator before publishing), and there do not seem to be many glaring errors or spelling issues.  Although the word "tough" is spelled as such as is not "through" as to go through a wall.

Character:  I like the character -- he is personable and innovative, but the main reason I gave him 3 stars is that he has no real motivation for doing what he is doing.  Weed, for example, endured the training program due to a deep inner drive to succeed due to his lifelong emotional triggers surrounding money.  Kiro doesn't seem to have these same problems, and it really makes me wonder where he got this iron will from to do everything to the extreme and train constantly even when he could just have fun.   Its just simply unrealistic.
Also, the difference between skills and proficiencies is not well-explained, which makes it hard to understand why all the different categories.  Proficiencies seem to just be passive skills as opposed to active ones.

I will add that a good number more of his skills could be combined which would greatly simplify the tables and your calculations.  There are so many different skills related to fighting that he could even just get all of his blade skills into a single "blade skills" skill and skip the dagger, sword, dual wield, etc.  At some point it just gets overbearing to read through the long list of skills that relate to very specific things.

I would like to see more character development overall, which he seems to lack, and that is the other problem.  He is hell-bent on the training halls such that he doesn't actually DO anything else.  Even during the "year to experience life" he didn't seem to do that much experiencing of life and it was briefly touched on just to make it seem like he spent time doing other things even though the next chapter found him at a training hall again.  I would be interested to read the details of those advenctures, as well as how he made use of that special book and the other weapons that he bought from the Experience Merchant, as we have never heard of that stuff since.  He also doesn't seem to make use of any in-game items, swords, clothes, etc. which would make the story a little more interesting as well.  Anyway, just some thoughts for you as well as a rating.  Overall I enjoy this and will continue to read as the chapters come out!

shadowcerberus
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?t is an amazing story.it is a pity the real life side of the story going to be a bit weak because of the mc being stuck in his own body.but it has its own charm.grammer has its mistakes but it might not be your firsth language like me:D

i realy like male mc with VR stories it is a 5 star from start:D and i liked  the LMS like training centers 

i like when he changes pov’s sometimes between mc to other characters but don t make it happen 2 or 3 chapter back to back.make it happen like once every 4 or 5 chapter.let the sup characters develop.

i like his out side of the box thinking way.i like the way he is training .he is mixing real word logic with game logic.i hope he will becomes a op mc while not becoming one sided.i want him to evolve emotionaly and physicaly.

only negative point i m seeing about the mc is the %100 realistic pain option.he will die in real life if he receives a high damage that wouldn t kill him instantly.he is in a fantasy world what do u think going to happen if he gets hit by a fire type spells. he is not going to die instantly.did u ever got a 2th degree burn it hurts like hell for months and it hurts for years emotionaly.i m not even going to talk about the emotional scars and phobias the game would gave him.the pains he is going to receive is not going to be because of splinters.

i have great expectations from this story.i hope u will continue the story until mc conquers the game.

Croseven
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Hum….this FF until just recently (spoiler free…go read this ff) was just another avarege FF. Style and grammar wise it is readable, the MC is not just a OP or a freakking noob…he puts effort and trainning in his avatar! me like! ;) BUT there was a twist that makes this FF a whole new game! ^_^  (again…not going to spoil) Conclusion: Hum…it’s still early on but I can see this FF turning out great! P.s: Waiting to see the results of the little twist :D
KruoTsubasa
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I started reading this and thought this is slow and generic *sigh* guess ill read a little more since i don’t have anything better to do, now that i finished the last chapter i cant help but scream NOOOO@!!!!!! i need the next chapter!! (my dog can attest she jumped when i screamed)

 

In  essence give it a good shot its worth reading past the “boring/slow” beginning.

jilles l
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you have a good story there, hope you to not drop it :)
lucifuge
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loving it! !!KEEP IT UP!!

great ff am definitely going to be twiddling my thumbs on the edge of my seat waiting for the next chapter!!!
Cylinder
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Love the story keep it up.

The MC is great.  I've read a lot of these vrmmorpg stories and I like some of the twists in this one.  How the MC set his pain to 100% (even though he regrets it) plus how his reaction to the wooden swords was similar to mine even if his was dialed down a bunch. invulnerable wooden sword OP!! XD Can't wait for every update.
biotiz
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Fun story with a lot of twists.

 This story has a sad beginning with a lot of fun twists and great titles.  I had to laugh when I read about the mad fish and character title gained.

 

This story focuses more on characters than monsters and fighting.  The setting is excellent and the building of the MC (main character) is very smooth and entertaining.  The grammar and writing style is excellent.  I am envious of anyone who has the imagination and dedication publish a book.

 

Great job

Vampwalker
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I love this story for many reason here are some.One reason is the training he does i like to see main characters progress thru stupidly hard kill your self training Like goku with the gravity chamber,and gats cuts logs falling from waterfalls.Another reason and probably the main one is he is or is gonna be op which i love and no one can say shit cause he trained his ass off for it yet still trains love this story.

DoctorImouto
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Quickly Becoming One of My Favorites

The story is very well thoguht out and the characters are unique with their skills and personalities. I look forward to seeing how the main character progresses.