Realm Eternal

by nBosega

Original Action Adventure Drama Fantasy LitRPG Romance Sci-fi Magic Martial Arts Multiple Lead Characters Strategy Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Gore

Meet Nabi Elrick ; betrayed by the woman he loves, and blinded by anger he acts rashly and it nearly costs him everything.


Nabi Elrick's actions have drastic consequences and he looses the prestige of his occupation and he sinks into an epic slump; a Deep depression. Fortunately the 【Alternate Reality Simulation】 Realm Eternal rouses him from his melancholic abyss.

Nabi Elrick sees an opportunity to Begin Again.


Inspired by; Mushoku Tensei, Tate no Yuusha no Nariagari, Legendary Moonlight Sculptor, Daybreak on Hyperion, Log Horizon and Only Sense Online. I unashamedly draw some elements from my favourite light novels in writing this FanFic.


For the Record; the Realm Eternal Mythology Revolves Around Ancient Dragons


My Chapter target is set at 【5000 words】

【Written in South African English which means closer to the British Standard.】

Warning: Mature Content 【Violence, Language and Adult Themes 】


List of My Novels:

『Realm Eternal』

『Crystal Guardian 』

『Exiled Nomads of the Galaxy』

『Soul Vessel Psyche』

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  • Pages :
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nBosega

nBosega

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Prologue : Ragnarök ago
Chapter 1: Homework First ago
Chapter 2: Atlantis Bifröst ago
Chapter 3: Benefits of Open Beta ago
Chapter 4 : Genuine Companions ago
Chapter 5: Honour ago
Chapter 6: Efforts & Rewards ago
Chapter 7: Precursor to War ago
Chapter 8: The Strands Linking Good and Evil ago
Chapter 9: Fire and Ice ago
Chapter 10: Arc 1 Epilogue ago
Chapter 11: Faith in your Friends [Arc 2: The Power of Knowledge] ago
Chapter 12: Trust [Arc 2: The Power of Knowledge] ago
Chapter 13: The Good Student ago
Chapter 14: The Lonely Annihilator ago
And so I got Burgled ago
Chapter 15: The Fruit of Knowledge ago
Chapter 16: The Realism of Realm Eternal ago
Chapter 17: Designing Advantageous Circumstances ago
Chapter 18: The Power of 『Force Multipliers』 ago
Chapter 19: The Noble Path ago
Chapter 20: Bonds ago
Chapter 21: What are you? Know Thyself ago
Chapter 22: The Truth in All Things ago
Chapter 23: Even Failure is a Teacher ago
Chapter 24: Fad and Fanfare ago
Chapter 25: Truth ago
Chapter 26: Acclimatizing to Magic ago
Chapter 27: Crossing the Rubicon ago
Chapter 28: The Depth of Knowledge ago
Chapter 29: Refuge ago
Chapter 30: The Price of Privilege ago
Reviews

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nBosega
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First I’d like to say that this is my first FF and I thank those who offer encouragements.

 

@ Shytar; In my experience people who preface their comment with “usually I hate giving out negative reviews” or “I normally don’t …” tend to be the opposite of what they profess. I make extensive use of spell check in my profession so your English must be different from mine.

 

Oh! I went to UCT at age 15, I turned 16 in December of my first year in Engineering so I never Imagined that saying that my protagonist went to Uni at 14 would be seen as some kind of extraordinary exception since there were plenty of 14, 15, & 16 year old while I was at UCT.

 

I expect that your reaction is a backlash of my open dislike of Overpowered Characters & short chapters. It’s rather obvious that you take offence at that and you should own that. I expected that some would dislike that comment; after all super fanboys take their heroes very seriously.

 

A for “Sadly most of it seems to be repetitive filler such as typing said: “Open <skill/window/whatever>” three times” This is EXTRAORDINARY LIBERTIES WITH THE TRUTH! In three chapters it was done only once in Ch2 with “Display Bifröst Realm Keys!” times 3

 

Chapter 0 word count = 7621, Chapter 1 word count = 11000, Chapter 2 word count = 6738,

 

 A little Honesty and integrity would be Helpful!

 

That being said I will acknowledge that it does read a bit like a manual or Report.

 

It seems I can’t outrun my Occupation!

 

I essentially gave my Protagonist an academic background similar to my own (only one masters though & no plans for a doctorate). Yes; there is a lot of numbers because that’s what I do. I find that you can’t write about what you don’t know without seeming like an Idiot.

 

I’ll work on making it feel less like a quantitative Report

 

Orick the Mage
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From what I can tell the author is very Diligent;  he didn’t just put stats up when describing each of the selectable races if you add them up they all start at with 200.

I can assume he put in some effort calculating them with in all likelyhood a spreadsheet;  that tells you something about the work.

 

So I assume that the FF is still in the world building faze and that’s why there hasn’t been any major action but given the action stuff in ch1 I’m confident the action will be epic once the author gets down to it.

 

As for the @Shyntar Review it is worthless trash; he pretends like he knows a thing or two, but you can’t fake intelligence,  and he’s been shown up to be a hack by the Author. 

 

Shytar should have realize from the sheer volume of info and accuracy of the numbers that the Author is clearly very smart and would notice the crass attempt at cleverness. 

 

I hope the Author doesn’t pay attention to the rants of the super fanboys and continues with what I find to be very interesting. 

Nalen
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I think the style is Refreshing

 

I like that you can always tell who's talking, and even though the Chapters are a bit long they're definitely easy to read.

The grammar is intact and there are very few spelling mistakes given the amount of words written.

 

My one complaint is that there's very little action; over 15000 words and the MC hasn't really done anything.

 

Though the Author calls this Golden Elf cursed it does seem a lot like the moonlight sculpture profession. However I do admit that the Golden Elf does have cursed Stats. Physically this Golden Elf seems to be the weakest, though the magic might be overpowered.

 

Wait do all the Elves Glow? What about the Dark elf? Is shadow magic this FF’s version of Dark Magic?

 

Does the Author plan to shock us with the introduction of a female lead at some point? I'll admit that the absence of "super beautiful" Female characters is refreshing.

 

All in all I like it!

 

Some may not like it but I do; just pick up the pace a little!

ButcheredSoul
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This deserves more attention

When I first began reading this, and learning that this does not contain an overpowered MC, I was saddened and decided to ignore this story. A few days later I realized I have nothing to read so I decided grudgingly to give this a shot…..

 

The first chapter I was impressed yet didn’t hold grand expectations about the upcoming chapters. Yet after fully reading every chapter released so far  I have to say this is a gem of a story. Much better than many and deserves to be in the TOP 3. Excellent story and has a MC that is fun to read about. Barely any grammar errors, well developed characters and a story that outshines many others. I am in love and hope to see what you make it out to be. BTW who will become his girlfriend/wife? I cannot wait to find out. Hopefully it will be someone just as calculation and wise like him :)

sensitiveears
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But what I will say is this fiction is unlike most of the fictions on this site, heck this fiction could be a novel for all I'd know. It's awesome, it's good. Read it.

boja
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AWESOME MIX OF MMORPG/FANTASY/SCI-FI! with so much detail in the World Building

Definitely top class writing! This is your first piece? Well the amount of detail is impressive.  The MC definitely reminds me of the MC from Log Horizon mixed with Ciaphas Cain from Warhammer.  I can’t wait for the main world building process to dial down and for the MC’s inidividual growth and story progression to ramp up.  I hope he starts to appreciate being a High Elf and ends up showing everyone how advantageous of a race it is compared to the general consensus.

 

The chap length is perfect for me, I hate reading chapters too fast and then I’m wanting for more right away!  The details in each chapter is enough to keep me satisfied.  I am also glad that him and his friends made a huge profit after the sacrificing pretty much all the money they had outside of the game. Kudos! 

Cloudwatcher
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Well it looks like there are plenty of people who seem to like this story, unfortunately I am not one of them.  The story is almost nonexistent, the characters are flat, and the dialogue is extremely stilted.  This story reads like a tech manual for the worst Pay to Win game ever made.  

And while I understand  wanting to do some world building and giving the readers details of your game system, you really only have to give them the important details.  Taking things to the 12th decimal point and listing every weapon that every character is carrying is unnecessary and only serves to bog down the already spare story.

I would strongly suggest spending more time on story and characters and less on the Excel document you built all your systems on.

Cruxio
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Too much, too little

Too much detail. But very hard working. You will be awed with the chapter length then the detail then the back story. But too much is not always good. Severely lacking in adventure. Not my kind of story. Too much info too little advancement. He wasnt even improving on his own. No self story. Always guild this guild that. And he is a mid/support class.

A glorified overseer story with more detail for detail fetishists.

Still 5 star for the epic prologue but definitely not the kind of story you can read willingly.

-3 lack of fun

+1 for chapter length

-1 for underclassed MC

+4 for grammar

-2 sickening grandeur

-1 adventure

-1 no improvement on the author’s style

You forgot something important about storytelling. Storytelling isn't just about world building.

Azumera
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 @shyntar, I have a classmate who’s turning to college next month. His age is 15.  So fvck off. There’s more to world that you still don’t know. Btw, I graduated from a science high school so yeah. ;)

 

If you will include my gaming status, it’s Platinum III – League of Legends. I’ve also been a Head-Admin in a big minecraft community that earns 30k USD a year. 

koutacchi
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I'd say, the details of this fiction is great! I'm even suprised at how you tried to convey the backstory of the game first which is a plus for me.

The way the story was handled is unique in itself.

This time the VRRMMO's story is based on a guild scale not your usual MC fighting alone at the start and gains level. As what the author said on the synopsis, he got inspired by a couple of novels and one of which is heavily inspired would be Log Horizon as it seems like the beginning story is filled with details about MC's community and how will they build up their group. Truly a new way of showing how VRRMMO works in such scale, much less how you would think a community of dark gamers would plan. I'm looking forward for more of this story as it is really interesting as the story goes. 

Though the only downside for this would be a lack of spotlight for the MC, let's just see how things would go.