The Arcane Emperor

by Aternus

Original Action Adventure Comedy Drama Fantasy LitRPG Romance Anti-Hero Lead Harem Magic Male Lead Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Rainer, an amateur arcanist and college student, sought to create a new spell far surpassing the magic of the few he inherited from his grandfather. Yet the interference of an unknown event during the casting of his spell led him to be thrown through space and time.

Where status screens were accepted as normal and class distinctions were quite clear. Leveling and achieving a class beyond a simple farmer or peddler was an affair of life and death combined with years of hard training. Goblins were not the fodder that they should be, orcs filled bedtime stories in order to scare children into behaving, and a dragon? You might as well pack up and move to another country.

He, however, enters this world with the rare and powerful class of the Arcanist. How will the recently ardent seeker of magic find greater heights, or will he land in deeper depths?

Additional Tags: Game elements, Another World, Mature Themes

Cover Art: by NGT http://forum.royalroadl.com/showthread.php?tid=83944

Current Guaranteed Word Count per Week: 7,300/18,000
Current Word Count: 290,693

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Aternus

Aternus

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: New Beginnings ago
Chapter 2: I'm Sorry I Doubted you Grandfather! ago
Chapter 3: The Arcane Scholar ago
Chapter 4: A Fairy and a Broken Seal ago
Chapter 5: Fae Contractor ago
Chapter 6: Run with the Wind! ago
Chapter 7: Resistance ago
Chapter 8: The Arcane Elementalist ago
Chapter 9: Monster Hunters ago
Chapter 10: Winter's Guardians ago
Chapter 11: The Dungeon's Entrance ago
Chapter 12: The First Step ago
Chapter 13: Fallen City of Nalmar ago
Chapter 14: A Change of Scenery ago
Chapter 15: The Fog ago
Chapter 16: An Unexpected Addition ago
Chapter 17: Arcane Power ago
Chapter 18: A Vanquishing Spear ago
Chapter 19: The Horde ago
Chapter 20: Soar ago
Chapter 21: Deliverance ago
Chapter 22: Wyvern's Roost ago
Chapter 23: Domain ago
Chapter 24: Rising Caverns and Falling Flames ago
Chapter 25: Descent ago
Chapter 26: The Return ago
Chapter 27: A Temporary Home ago
Chapter 28: The Hunt ago
Chapter 29: Back to Where it All Began ago
Chapter 30: Standardization ago
Chapter 31: Final Preparations ago
Chapter 32: Advancement ago
Chapter 33: Fruit of the World Tree ago
Chapter 34: A New Wind Blows. ago
Chapter 35: The Low Road ago
Chapter 36: Toward the Tower ago
Chapter 37: A Familiar Sensation ago
Chapter 38: The Mana-Well ago
Chapter 39: Voidwalker ago
Chapter 40: Maiden Elru ago
Chapter 41: A Trade ago
Chapter 42: A Ring's Value ago
Chapter 43: Flame-Touched ago
Chapter 44: Of Mages and Arachne ago
Chapter 45: A Message ago
Chapter 46: Arcane Presence ago
Chapter 47: Druidic Magic ago
Chapter 48: The Ice Wolf Queen ago
Chapter 49: Not Even a Footnote ago
Chapter 50: Arcane Invigoration ago
Chapter 51: Devil King Agmar ago
Chapter 52: An Unexpected Destination ago
Chapter 53: A New Arrival ago
Chapter 54: The Arcane Order ago
Chapter 55: Frozen Sun ago
Chapter 56: Tiers of Magic ago
Chapter 57: The Ball ago
Chapter 58: The Soul ago
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Nighty
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A magic scholar on a journey to master his study.

Unlike in most stories where the protagonist ends up in another world he did so thanks to his own power and not a plot device summoning that just happens for no reason other than to allow the plot to take plce. Even if it was not intentional it opens up a lot of potentional directions this story can take from there that would not be possible with the cookie cutter plot devices.

 

The MC has the perfect mindset for a great story of magic study and adventure, he doesnt lack determination in pursuit of his goal and the most important : he does have a goal.

With a good balance of righteousness and ruthlessness the MC is not overly cruel or softhearted and makes the right choices to survive in a ruthless world while coming out on top in a conflict. He is neither the hero nor the demon lord but has his own designs on what to do with the world he ended up traveling to.

 

His companions are a rare mix of individuals that promise a lot of trouble due to their background , perfect for keeping the action running wherever he goes. Their personalities are authentic and diverse enough to make even casual conversations entertaining and their interaction doesn't get dull or repetitive.

 

Overall its an interesting story that hooked me since the first chapter and hasn't let me down ever since. The only reason I'm giving  4.5 stars to the story score and not 5 is because his ability to learn in his sleep is on one hand unique but on the other hand quite lazy and overpowered. His goal is the mastery of magic and all he has to do for that is sleep.

Edit after chapter 25: changed score to 5 , MC doesnt get the easy way out of training for the more difficult spells anymore and gets off his lazy behind to actually train.

Jade Dragon
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Read up to chapter 24, Good writer.  While I'm not really a huge fan of the story or plot, the writer is good enough to bridge the difference.  

My strongest problem with the story would be the main character.  Granted in a game world style story the main characters are going to be overpowered badasses.  But everything just comes too easy to him.  Even his "struggles" are momentary.  Most of his problems are his own fault, many of his crisises are the result of him running from trouble instead of destroying it, then he just destroyes it anyway making it feel unstatisfactory how you just wasted time reading a few thousand words about what a dangerous situation the MC was running from only to learn nope, the mc was just running because... whatever?   

In short the story has no tension.  

The author tries to create some with some of the subplots, but with the character locked away from those overpowered foes powerleveling, it's pretty apparent when he does emerge from the dungeon and face everyone chasing him he'll be seriously overpowered and those "lurking dangers" will be easily crushed like every other challange he faces.

OVERALL: 3.5 / 5.0 - mediocre MC, sorta dull supporting cast mostly meh story, carried by a solid storyteller with good writing competency.

Style: 4.5 / 5.0 - the style of the story is written in a 3rd person voice, overall the author is rather good with this voice and the story flows well.   It's not perfect but it's close enough.

Grammer: 4.5 / 5.0 - simple easy sentence structure, solid use of language, little to no obvious errors.  As a technical writer the author is quite strong.  This score isn't a 5.0 only because the writing level isn't particularly high; the competency is quite high, however the language is simple, as is the sentence structure.  Almost too simple, in some cases he actually can confuse the reader by oversimplifying the scene.  Still a cut above most writers here.  

Story: 3.0 / 5.0 - basic story, while the author has some nice twists to the concept of the "transported to the video game or fantasy like world" genre which keep the concept fresh, it also uses those mechanics as a crutch in the place of story telling and scene setting like most of the more mediocre works in the genre.  You get a lot of status screens which mean little to nothing (as the MC will just curb stomp everything anyway) or grinding/sleep learning/skill aquisition sessions interupting whatever interesting plot might be trying to happen around it.  And the plot is sort of lost in all of it

Character: 3.0 / 5.0 - the only thing keeping this from being lower is the undead knight companion, who I have to admit is about the only character I like, and who seems to have a personality in this story.  The flirting between the MC and the female cast is about the only signs of life we have between the rest of the characters.  The MC is unlikeable and astonishingly stupid (mostly when the plot needs to put them in crisis), I still can't gather what the MC sees in the wolf girl beyond her being cute and having a fetish for animorphic girls, frankly she seems to have whatever personality the plot needs at the time, and her character's motivation seems to be "be main girl", while the 3rd person talking fairy is so close to every other fairy i've read in other literature, I can't be sure "what" she is suposed to be.  It's strange I find rarely meantioned side characters more interesting then the main plot in a book, but this is one of them.

silverkaidus
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Aternus, your story has some brilliant concepts, and your plot is great. I can feel the heart you put into your work. Still, after nineteen chapers, it has become a challenge "for me" to continue reading. Despite the fact that I really want to, I am litterally forcing myself onward. I am not just saying this for my sake, but for your own, since others might feel the same way as me. Hence, I would like to point out some critical points of mine, so that you can improve yourself and get more readers. Otherwise, feel free to simply consider this as my personal ramblings.

 

With respect to (1) grammar, I have seen some slight improvements along the chapters, but I sadly keep running into mistakes almost every paragraph. That is fine in itself. However, what has cut me off is (2) the narrative. I am assured you know of this, but as to remind you, it is the reader who has to make sense of everything you write. Therefore, if you think about how the reader perceives your text, then in the first place, there should have never been a need to make explanations in the comments. Elaborating on this, during my read, a number of readers have pointed out misunderstandings, things that they did not quite understand or even important details, which they felt were left behind. I am assured you do your best at preventing all these to the best of your abilities. Nevertheless, I find myself having to gloss over some scenes more than once, which sadly disrupts the flow of the story. Moving on to (3) the characters of the story, a number of the conversations and developments are lacking in authencity. Without going into detail, I get some very "unnatural vibes" from how some of the interrelationships are proceeding. To me, this either translates into very simplistic thought processes of characters, cringe-worthy relationships or rushed developments. Lastly, but not least, I can sincerely recommend you to give your story some (4) extra flavour, so that it does not feel too descriptive. For instance, introducing more traits to the surroundings and characters and more verbs. More specifically, but of less relevance now, I will also refer to the amount of spells. The repitions of similar spells is astounding. The downsides being, first of all, you for your own sake have to use time to consider each of these alternative spells and their current levels, and secondly we as readers have to remember each one of them. To increase the depth and impact of spells, merging some of the many substitutes into a single system, would have been much appeaciated. Jumping off track, I would also like to point out another thing, which I think you will be able to refer to. A single institution, such as a university, is likely to hold a monopololy position. This can disrupt innovation and deteriorate variation in learning, which in turn prevents the creation of knowledge. Hence, the spread of various dissimilar organisations, institutions or schools can actually be beneficial.  

 

I sincerely hope you will be reviewing this message as a kind of knowledge sharing and show of goodwill, so that you can improve your storytelling and share the joy of writing about your world with us.

Jatron
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The story starts off unique enough, the MC is one of the few mages on Earth where magic is limited to lighting candles. Sadly, it becomes cliche-ville all the way to chapter 14 where I had to stop. 

The MC gain an OP class called Arcanist for some reason when it's closer to a Sorcerer. The MC gains spells extremely easily, the knowledge to use the spells gets downloaded, wonder how one get's the drive to uncover the secrets of the arcane when it's spoon-fed to them. 

He later has a cringy moral realization after finding out that goblins have a language. Staple for all these transportation stories, very badly done. He get's a fairy, quite cliche as well. The only redeeming factor would've been if she wasn't jealous and acted like she and the MC are a couple, which she doesn't. Cheap, easy jokes that we've all read hundreds of times and so lacking in comedic value.

The author really messed up, his first meeting with people is basically time-skipped after he bonds with the female of the group. The one who is supposed to be strong and blunt, yet stumbles reassuring the MC that his sword form is not womanly. Oh lord, the scene where her hair-ties magically snap off in combat was a reach. A woman warrior would secure he hair better, or have it in a bob-cut. 

Spoilers on the scene that cemented my dislike for the story.

 

 

He kills 9 of other guys in his groups, or tries to, after he's told by them, his fairy, and the wolf-girl warrior that she murdered people. Something completely out of character for him, seriously reaching for that neutral evil alignment. Now, if there were actual scenes of character development on the trip to the dungeon, for the party and the wolf-girl, the reader might understand why he murdered 7-9 people. As it is, it was abrupt, nonsensical and off putting. 

The only good thing is the grammar at this point.

emberwing
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New and definitely worth a read.

Though there aren't many chapters out yet i feel confident enough to rate this work with five stars.

The grammar and spelling are on point with only a few mistakes here and there. 

The world is in the process of being developed but it is being done splendidly and the author seems to be taking his time whilst doing it .

The characters are likeable though somewhat one-dimensional as of yet, i won't be subtracting any points for this though due to the fact that only six chapters have been released as of yet and it seems to be going in the right direction.

 

earmuffs
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I usually don't bother reviewing...

I don't usually bother reviewing but I wan't more chapters so sue me.

What this story has: impeccable style, a solid story and great characters.

What this story doesn't have: more damn chapters. Keep 'em coming, mate.

By the way, who the hell decrees that having a borderline generic story is bad? This author pulled a typical theme as a story but made it his own (please keep it that way). I'm putting my odds in favor of this work.

At least the MC doesn't make your innards cringe horrifically (except that one time... T_T).

Fuly
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At first I didn't know why it was placed so high in the novel ranking. I still don't.

(Nothing personnal against the author, just my honest review).

I dropped this novel twice, got back at it, thinking if I got past the first few chapters it would just get better, after all it's ranked first. I'm currently at chapter 13 and thinking of dropping it again.

 

Style : I'm really not a fan. Especially this : [whatever]. The brackets. It just break the immersion for me and I'm tempted to jump 2-3 lines everytime I see one. And there are a lot. A LOT. I mean, everytime we're speaking about magic : [ ], everytime there's a monster [ ]. They break every sentence they are in, there's no rythm in this novel because of it. It's almost robotic. Also, concerning magic, there's WAY TOO MUCH details. Too much %mana, too much %xp, just too much. No one will remember all that, it's just a waste of time to read everything, especially since you made an OP MC that levels up super fast, hence the % changing regularly.

 

Story : I put 3.5 stars since I can't judge the story with only 13 chapters. But as of now, it's just a classic MC-teleported-to-a-game-like-world. And gets unique super OP powers. I don't mind an OP MC but I like it when there's a reason behind it. Like if he reincarnated with his memories, of course he has an advantage over others. But this MC is OP because of reasons. He gets teleported to another world and suddenly the crappy powers he had suddenly become OP as shit. Not very convincing.

 

Grammar : I can't say I saw many mistypes but I saw some sentences that were kinda hard to read because it wasn't quite well-written (probably due to the [ ] that breaks sentences too). I usually don't struggle to read english novels, even those with high-levelish grammar so it's probably not coming from me.

 

Characters : Well, gotta say those characters are boring. Uninteresting. Bland. The MC arrive in a new world and isn't disoriented at all. It's like he knows exactly what he has to do. And everything goes his way.  His first fight : ''I'll use a spell that was USELESS in my world'' turns out it's enough to kill a Goblin. Damn. What luck! ''Oh, I'm going to sleep, better put some kind of alarm in case a Goblin walks by. Should I remind you the MC was just a student leaving a peaceful life? Now he's like some pro-survivor that knows he has to cast his arcane thingy to protect him while sleeping (how convenient). Also, he was just an almost-normal guy, how can he go to sleep like nothing happened? He just teleported to another world, killed a living being, shouldn't he panic just a little? Or even too excited to sleep?

I will not dwell too much on the other characters because they are even less interesting than the MC. A Fairy that becomes a familiar and grows in size (probably so she can be in the MC's harem, how convenient) that refers to herself using her own name probably to be more cute. Getting goosebumps just thinking back about it. They've known each-other for a few hours but she sticks to him like she's already madly in love with him, even though he did nothing much to get so much attention. Saving a damsel in distress most likely won't make her fall in love with you or even get attached to yo, especially if you're as bland as MC.

Same goes for wolf-girl (Heeeyyy! A beastkin! Gotta have variety in your harem guys). They've known each other for a few days, he showed her he was Op as shit learning or technique and she let him sleep on her thighs though she was introduced rather like a cold-beauty. Seems like ice melts fast when you're OP.

Well, I think I'm done with this review. Again, I got nothing against the author though I might seem harsh. It's just that I like fantasy novels and rpg novels, and this one has been a deception for me. I'll try to continue reading and hope it gets better but I doubt it.

Anyway, congrats for the first place, keep up the hard work. I might not like it but it seems like a lot of people does.

bor902
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I want to leave a serious review too, maybe help the author make this already somewhat amazing story even better.

 

Style: The writing style is in some ways awkward, but it is a style that is easy to read, some authors start writing trying to formulate huge and complex blocks of text which they simply don't have the skill to wield.

The short and succinct style makes for a smooth reading experience. A lot of improvements will be necessary before I deem it 5/5, but you are on the correct way already without many fatalistic mistakes making the rating easy to reach as long as hard work is applied.

 

Story: I honestly don't know what a story score is even supposed to be, to me it sounds like a weak synonym to the overall score. Never the less I imagine the creators of this system thought it to be a scoring for the world creation and story progression.

Okay first world creation, great job with some refinement I would imagine this world being something that I find in professional works, sadly some of the cliches are, cringy, well executed but still lowering the overall rating. Other than that mistake I believe the world you write about engaging and entertaining, with only 24 chapters to go on you might still mess up, but hey, that's life.

Story progression is in some ways too fast and in some ways to slow, these two managing to balance out a bit. The gaining of skills and the escalation of conflict done in a way that ensures you will either have to rewrite significant parts of the story or end it prematurely. One of the only great stories I have read with a similar escalation of conflict is Worm by Wildbow and some Fanfictions I would rather not mention. But the thing about Worm is that it reached your level of escalation at what I think were 500 k words.

 

Grammar: Not really much to say here, the uses of the times are horrible at some points other than that the things that bother me most are the common comma mistakes.

 

Character Score: The characters are at most times nicely fleshed out and have an apparent personality, sadly some of the personalities are cliche as well. To be quite honest I think the best fleshed out character is Leaf, yes Leaf, the level 3 scrub wannabe blackmailer.

In most stories the main character gains an enemy, the enemy then proceeds to dog our hero until the end of time until dismayed, turned via humiliating defeat, or more often death.

Leaf after realizing there was no conceivable way actually to blackmail Rainer and Kara(?), simply decides not to do it showing a thought process reminiscent of an actual human and not of a mere caricature only there to progress the plot. 

 

Overall it's an entertaining story, although lacking a proofreader, sorry for the insult if you do have a proofreader.

I think the world you created has much potential just as you, the writer, yourself.

Practice makes perfect

hao16
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A great start, with a solid writing style

The story has an excellent pace to it. The writing style is stellar and grammar is near perfect. There are a few incongruities at this point, but I'm hoping that with enough time and more chapters they will be addressed. The story has a nice setting to it, with likeable characters. At this point it is still too early for an incredibly detailed review, considering that the author promised 5 chapters/week and that the plot is still in its infancy. 

The one complaint that I have so far is absolutely nothing is known about the origins of the protagonist. But I don't think that this is a big issue, as the author seems to be going for a gradual reveal of the protagonist's past instead of an info dump. That is also fine

As for other readers looking to get a sense of the novel from the reviews, without spoiling too much, this is a summoned to new world story with a twist. So far so good, with enough action and a good deal of humor. I'm leaving it at 4.5/5 for now, as it is too early. Will come back in the future and amend my score.

moRles
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Gran novela, me encanta el mc y la historia en si , espero poder seguir leyendo, gracias por el gran trabajo.