The Arcane Emperor

by Aternus

Original Action Adventure Comedy Drama Fantasy LitRPG Romance Anti-Hero Lead Harem Magic Male Lead Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Rainer, an amateur arcanist and college student, sought to create a new spell far surpassing the magic of the few he inherited from his grandfather. Yet the interference of an unknown event during the casting of his spell led him to be thrown through space and time.

Where status screens were accepted as normal and class distinctions were quite clear. Leveling and achieving a class beyond a simple farmer or peddler was an affair of life and death combined with years of hard training. Goblins were not the fodder that they should be, orcs filled bedtime stories in order to scare children into behaving, and a dragon? You might as well pack up and move to another country.

He, however, enters this world with the rare and powerful class of the Arcanist. How will the recently ardent seeker of magic find greater heights, or will he land in deeper depths?

Additional Tags: Game elements, Another World, Mature Themes

Cover Art: by NGT http://forum.royalroadl.com/showthread.php?tid=83944

Current Word Count: 413,193
Weekly Schedule: Long Chapter(s) Every Saturday Night EST

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Aternus

Aternus

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Table of Contents
Chapter Name Release Date
Chapter 1: New Beginnings ago
Chapter 2: I'm Sorry I Doubted you Grandfather! ago
Chapter 3: The Arcane Scholar ago
Chapter 4: A Fairy and a Broken Seal ago
Chapter 5: Fae Contractor ago
Chapter 6: Run with the Wind! ago
Chapter 7: Resistance ago
Chapter 8: The Arcane Elementalist ago
Chapter 9: Monster Hunters ago
Chapter 10: Winter's Guardians ago
Chapter 11: The Dungeon's Entrance ago
Chapter 12: The First Step ago
Chapter 13: Fallen City of Nalmar ago
Chapter 14: A Change of Scenery ago
Chapter 15: The Fog ago
Chapter 16: An Unexpected Addition ago
Chapter 17: Arcane Power ago
Chapter 18: A Vanquishing Spear ago
Chapter 19: The Horde ago
Chapter 20: Soar ago
Chapter 21: Deliverance ago
Chapter 22: Wyvern's Roost ago
Chapter 23: Domain ago
Chapter 24: Rising Caverns and Falling Flames ago
Chapter 25: Descent ago
Chapter 26: The Return ago
Chapter 27: A Temporary Home ago
Chapter 28: The Hunt ago
Chapter 29: Back to Where it All Began ago
Chapter 30: Standardization ago
Chapter 31: Final Preparations ago
Chapter 32: Advancement ago
Chapter 33: Fruit of the World Tree ago
Chapter 34: A New Wind Blows. ago
Chapter 35: The Low Road ago
Chapter 36: Toward the Tower ago
Chapter 37: A Familiar Sensation ago
Chapter 38: The Mana-Well ago
Chapter 39: Voidwalker ago
Chapter 40: Maiden Elru ago
Chapter 41: A Trade ago
Chapter 42: A Ring's Value ago
Chapter 43: Flame-Touched ago
Chapter 44: Of Mages and Arachne ago
Chapter 45: A Message ago
Chapter 46: Arcane Presence ago
Chapter 47: Druidic Magic ago
Chapter 48: The Ice Wolf Queen ago
Chapter 49: Not Even a Footnote ago
Chapter 50: Arcane Invigoration ago
Chapter 51: Devil King Agmar ago
Chapter 52: An Unexpected Destination ago
Chapter 53: A New Arrival ago
Chapter 54: The Arcane Order ago
Chapter 55: Frozen Sun ago
Chapter 56: Tiers of Magic ago
Chapter 57: The Ball ago
Chapter 58: The Soul ago
Chapter 59: Call of the Void ago
Chapter 60: Abyssal Plane ago
Chapter 61: Creeping Darkness ago
Chapter 62: The Mind ago
Chapter 63: A Serpent's Cry and A Dragon's Help ago
Chapter 64: Lords of the Void ago
Chapter 65: Plunging into Water ago
Chapter 66: The Second Trial ago
Chapter 67: Abyssal Elf ago
Chapter 68: A Difference of Time ago
Chapter 69: Death's Thief ago
Chapter 70: The Memories of a Soul ago
Chapter 71: Arcane Revelation ago
Chapter 72: Another gift from the Divine ago
Chapter 73: Home ago
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Nighty
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A magic scholar on a journey to master his study.

Unlike in most stories where the protagonist ends up in another world he did so thanks to his own power and not a plot device summoning that just happens for no reason other than to allow the plot to take plce. Even if it was not intentional it opens up a lot of potentional directions this story can take from there that would not be possible with the cookie cutter plot devices.

 

The MC has the perfect mindset for a great story of magic study and adventure, he doesnt lack determination in pursuit of his goal and the most important : he does have a goal.

With a good balance of righteousness and ruthlessness the MC is not overly cruel or softhearted and makes the right choices to survive in a ruthless world while coming out on top in a conflict. He is neither the hero nor the demon lord but has his own designs on what to do with the world he ended up traveling to.

 

His companions are a rare mix of individuals that promise a lot of trouble due to their background , perfect for keeping the action running wherever he goes. Their personalities are authentic and diverse enough to make even casual conversations entertaining and their interaction doesn't get dull or repetitive.

 

Overall its an interesting story that hooked me since the first chapter and hasn't let me down ever since. The only reason I'm giving  4.5 stars to the story score and not 5 is because his ability to learn in his sleep is on one hand unique but on the other hand quite lazy and overpowered. His goal is the mastery of magic and all he has to do for that is sleep.

Edit after chapter 25: changed score to 5 , MC doesnt get the easy way out of training for the more difficult spells anymore and gets off his lazy behind to actually train.

Jade Dragon
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Read up to chapter 24, Good writer.  While I'm not really a huge fan of the story or plot, the writer is good enough to bridge the difference.  

My strongest problem with the story would be the main character.  Granted in a game world style story the main characters are going to be overpowered badasses.  But everything just comes too easy to him.  Even his "struggles" are momentary.  Most of his problems are his own fault, many of his crisises are the result of him running from trouble instead of destroying it, then he just destroyes it anyway making it feel unstatisfactory how you just wasted time reading a few thousand words about what a dangerous situation the MC was running from only to learn nope, the mc was just running because... whatever?   

In short the story has no tension.  

The author tries to create some with some of the subplots, but with the character locked away from those overpowered foes powerleveling, it's pretty apparent when he does emerge from the dungeon and face everyone chasing him he'll be seriously overpowered and those "lurking dangers" will be easily crushed like every other challange he faces.

OVERALL: 3.5 / 5.0 - mediocre MC, sorta dull supporting cast mostly meh story, carried by a solid storyteller with good writing competency.

Style: 4.5 / 5.0 - the style of the story is written in a 3rd person voice, overall the author is rather good with this voice and the story flows well.   It's not perfect but it's close enough.

Grammer: 4.5 / 5.0 - simple easy sentence structure, solid use of language, little to no obvious errors.  As a technical writer the author is quite strong.  This score isn't a 5.0 only because the writing level isn't particularly high; the competency is quite high, however the language is simple, as is the sentence structure.  Almost too simple, in some cases he actually can confuse the reader by oversimplifying the scene.  Still a cut above most writers here.  

Story: 3.0 / 5.0 - basic story, while the author has some nice twists to the concept of the "transported to the video game or fantasy like world" genre which keep the concept fresh, it also uses those mechanics as a crutch in the place of story telling and scene setting like most of the more mediocre works in the genre.  You get a lot of status screens which mean little to nothing (as the MC will just curb stomp everything anyway) or grinding/sleep learning/skill aquisition sessions interupting whatever interesting plot might be trying to happen around it.  And the plot is sort of lost in all of it

Character: 3.0 / 5.0 - the only thing keeping this from being lower is the undead knight companion, who I have to admit is about the only character I like, and who seems to have a personality in this story.  The flirting between the MC and the female cast is about the only signs of life we have between the rest of the characters.  The MC is unlikeable and astonishingly stupid (mostly when the plot needs to put them in crisis), I still can't gather what the MC sees in the wolf girl beyond her being cute and having a fetish for animorphic girls, frankly she seems to have whatever personality the plot needs at the time, and her character's motivation seems to be "be main girl", while the 3rd person talking fairy is so close to every other fairy i've read in other literature, I can't be sure "what" she is suposed to be.  It's strange I find rarely meantioned side characters more interesting then the main plot in a book, but this is one of them.

bor902
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I want to leave a serious review too, maybe help the author make this already somewhat amazing story even better.

 

Style: The writing style is in some ways awkward, but it is a style that is easy to read, some authors start writing trying to formulate huge and complex blocks of text which they simply don't have the skill to wield.

The short and succinct style makes for a smooth reading experience. A lot of improvements will be necessary before I deem it 5/5, but you are on the correct way already without many fatalistic mistakes making the rating easy to reach as long as hard work is applied.

 

Story: I honestly don't know what a story score is even supposed to be, to me it sounds like a weak synonym to the overall score. Never the less I imagine the creators of this system thought it to be a scoring for the world creation and story progression.

Okay first world creation, great job with some refinement I would imagine this world being something that I find in professional works, sadly some of the cliches are, cringy, well executed but still lowering the overall rating. Other than that mistake I believe the world you write about engaging and entertaining, with only 24 chapters to go on you might still mess up, but hey, that's life.

Story progression is in some ways too fast and in some ways to slow, these two managing to balance out a bit. The gaining of skills and the escalation of conflict done in a way that ensures you will either have to rewrite significant parts of the story or end it prematurely. One of the only great stories I have read with a similar escalation of conflict is Worm by Wildbow and some Fanfictions I would rather not mention. But the thing about Worm is that it reached your level of escalation at what I think were 500 k words.

 

Grammar: Not really much to say here, the uses of the times are horrible at some points other than that the things that bother me most are the common comma mistakes.

 

Character Score: The characters are at most times nicely fleshed out and have an apparent personality, sadly some of the personalities are cliche as well. To be quite honest I think the best fleshed out character is Leaf, yes Leaf, the level 3 scrub wannabe blackmailer.

In most stories the main character gains an enemy, the enemy then proceeds to dog our hero until the end of time until dismayed, turned via humiliating defeat, or more often death.

Leaf after realizing there was no conceivable way actually to blackmail Rainer and Kara(?), simply decides not to do it showing a thought process reminiscent of an actual human and not of a mere caricature only there to progress the plot. 

 

Overall it's an entertaining story, although lacking a proofreader, sorry for the insult if you do have a proofreader.

I think the world you created has much potential just as you, the writer, yourself.

Practice makes perfect

Tyizor
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Conflicted. Has a lot of potential, but it's choppy atm.

Seeing as I haven't been on in awhile, I was somewhat surprised to find that a new story had risen to #1. I wanted to see what the hype was about, so I decided to start reading.

First of all, I want to make it clear that I'm writing this review as if I were reviewing a professional work, and not just a story written on here. I've read several stories on here, and this is definitely one of the better ones in comparison. Yes. It's trope-y. Yes. Some of the characters lack depth, but there are definitely some good elements blended into the story.

Now for the actual review. 


Style: Due to the nature of the story (a in-depth magical researcher in a world w/ status windows), this is resulted in some problems. The magic is explained in detail (which I like), but that also becomes an issue. After the initial flair of the details, I found myself starting to just skim over the magic expositions. While a lot of detail is given, it's not necessarily presented in an entertaining way. Yes, we hear about his failures in his sleep world, but nothing in detail. It's generally just *failure failure failure* *poof* *epiphany* and it works right away. I'd personally appreciate more on how the epiphany came to be (adjustments of past failures) rather than exposition on how certain aspects of magic... feels. I may be biased, but inset laws and playing off of those always seems far interesting than. "This feels right. Lets wing it." It may be too late to change this though.

As for the system, I'm a strong believer that systems disrupt the flow of the story, since I have an extremely hard time imersing myself in a world with status windows and stuff. It's just not relatable or remotely realistic. That's just me though. Personally I think you did this alright, but it feels like a limitation.

 

Grammar: No serious complaints. I never found this a huge deal unless it made the story literally unreadable tbh.

Story: Lots of complaints about the early chapters. The MC's thought process isn't explained enough when it matters. Esp during the whole "kill everyone to protect Kara and the fairy" dungeon sequence. The action when analyzed was logical, yes, but it lacked the foreshadowing leading up to it. Even if the MC has been established as logical, it felt like he just went full sociopath on us. As for the end goal (school), it was introduced in an odd manner and it currently feels insubstantial. He hasn't talked about funding, recruitment, or a concrete curriculim yet. It's mostly been 1 on 1 interactions that slightly relate to it.

I enjoy that there's signs of foreshadowing where you drop certain plot points down as foundation for the future. Instead of just leaving them be, you constantly reference back to them (ex. wyvern egg, and the cook) in casual conversation.

My biggest complaint about the story, however, is tied to the characters. Unfortunately I can't grade story and character seperately.

 

Character Score: MC is somewhat fleshed out, but still has moments where he seems robotical. How do I put it? He's too "logical" and "perfect". Flaws about him seem to be superficial and forced in rather than genuine and problem-causing. Everything seems to play to his advantage rather than him working towards it. Does he work? Yes. It doesn't seem like he does though. Nothing has seemed like a genuine threat to him thus far aside from the lich in that quest, and even then he blew past him easily when it came down to it. Tatics seem lacking and are much closer to brute force. I commend you for creating a MC that actually thinks and works towards a defined goal instead of creating another glorified slice of life (a problem a lot of stories on here has), but I can't help but feel that there's a lot of untapped potential here.
Unfortunately the biggest character problem isn't the MC. It's Kara. Initially I was quite pleased to find a female character and love interest that isn't just a personified blob of fanservice (not that I'm accusing the author of doing that now). She was just as strong as the MC and had some defining character traits, but it didn't stay that way. Even before the MC advanced to Archon, she was already fading into the background. She fell in love with him what almost seemed like instantly after the kill-everyone incident. Most of her supposed budding love was off-screen. Rather than someone who brought any insight or competence to the table, she quickly descended into nothing more than extra mobility due to her wolf form. As soon as the MC advanced, she disappeared all together. Soon enough, she brought nothing to the table that the MC himself couldn't bring. You see that she's upset about it, but it doesn't seem to be anything serious. Instead, she just happily plays the role of the girl that needs protection (her power might not fit that role, but her personality is starting to).es, you can argue that Kara brings a side quest to the table, but there's been very few signs of it thus far (until recently). This was honestly quite upsetting for me to see. I'm hoping a new arc fixes this.

Other characters:

Theo and Gul(whatever I can't remember his name. SkeloBro it is.) are well done. Theo brings experience and knowledge to the table. SkeloBro plays the straight man and the side quest role. They both have definitive character traits (Theo less so, but mainly since he was introduced later). Good job here.

Luna. Eh, personally I don't like these types of characters (cutesy kids stuck in mature bodies), but she brings her healing magic to the table, and the side quest. No serious complaints here without being extremely biased.

Other fairies: Reason I'm grouping them like this is because none of them have been all that fleshed out. The author has the issue of not being able to flesh out characters in an efficient manner without dragging it out and requiring them to have a lot of screen time. I advise the author look into short stories and see how characters are fleshed out near-instantly with minimal screen time.

 

Overall: My Review title.

Monsoon117
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The Arcane Emperor excells in creating compelling circumstances that draw the reader in, all the while making rules that are mysterious yet enticing. 

Style - The style is simple with a splash of flare. The analogies and comparisons are spot on, embroidering the otherwise gray writing. A little more umph during pivitol scenes would make the heart pounding moments that much better. Overall, excellent.

Grammar - Spotless. Notices 1-2 errors over 1400 pages. 

Story - The story's strongest draw, the story has numerous plot threads all coming together. As the reader, your curiosity of the world is acted out by the protag's own curiosities, creating an immersive experience. The fighting scenes are set up so well that my hands would sweat and my heart would pound with adrenaline. So many unknowns are set up with just enough tantalizing bits to keep you on edge, thinking about the world long after you've stopped reading. As a fellow writer, I was impressed.

Character Score - This is the fiction's biggest weakness is. The character's grow on you slowly with their antics, but they never quite pop off the page. They are servicable, but the story is what keeps you reading, not any charming characters. Still, they never devolve into cliche's or unwanted nusances. I'd reccomend sprinkling in more character building moments, like elaborating on backstories, motivations, or perhaps testing them. When do they break? Do they rise under pressure or falter? Etc.

Overall - 5/5, A compelling plot and world, written rather well with characters that don't detract from the wonderful magic, scenes, or fights. Well done, especially considering the sheer volume of words written. From one author to another, I give you props and look forward to the next chapter.

 

Karmagator
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Just my kind of power trip

TL;DR: It is bloody good - [LitRPG, OP MC, focus on small group so far, good - though not excceptional - characters, interesting world, mild 18+; updates weekly, long-ish chapters]

For starters, this is a fantasy LitRPG with a not overly "balanced" (in terms of power) protagonist and a dark-ish tone (not a tragedy, though). There are harem elements, but not to the point that it becomes annoying (it essetially only means that there will be multiple female love interests). It is also quite graphical in both violence and 18+ content. If that is not your thing, well, too bad for you. You are missing out. I am a bit biased on this topic, because LitRPGs and overpowered MCs are two of my favourite two things. But that's just me.

If you do like this sort of thing: oh boy, you are in for a treat. Mild spoilers (or maybe not even that) ahead. Also, profanity. And rambling... . Basically the most unfocused and probably unhelful review you will ever read.

- Progress as of the time this review was written: Chapter 67 -

Characters

The protagonist, Rainer, is a bit of a (magic) nerd. He can literally learn things in his sleep. Because that is fair and balanced.  He is a nice guy, but not your typical "I am the dense good guy and don't want to hurt anyone" MC. Thank bloody fuck. More of the (not so) average, decent university student / magical scientist / possibly slightly murderous kind of nice. There is also a certain ruthlessness, pragmatism and "grey morals" streak in him - very good. All in all, a decent, relatable character, not a cardboard cutout. Not the most complex or deep personality, but it is more than adequate. Not a lot is really known about him so far - in terms of backstory - about his time before his little accident.

The (main) support cast (if that is a thing.... you know what I mean) is on the smaller side - so far at least - compared to other WNs and is focused on a small group of "people". I can't say too much apart from that they all seems to be pretty good, albeit not most complex, characters. This is not a (very) character driven novel, but the relationships/interactions feel natural and make sense. Everything else would be a major spoiler. Some of the things you really won't see coming. A certain dungeon, everyone?

Also, adorable "pets" are adorable.

Grammar

Some mistakes here and there. Nothing major that would disrupt your flow.

 

Style

It is written from a third-person perspective, usually Rainer's, though it feels more like a first-person perspective.

This is a LitRPG, so expect massive tables, many "skill aquired" messages and the like. Even more so than in other novels of this type. This disrupts your reading flow a bit - as is to be expected.

The style is very "technical" and rich in details when it comes to explanations concering skills, attributes and all that jazz. Might be a bit dry at times for some people, but I like it. Nothing tickles my gamer-itch quite like half a page worth of explanation of all the new shinies the MC just got. And I mean that.

When not talking about skills or shinies, the only thing I can say about the style is that it is "good" and that I quite like it. Not the most amazing ( in terms of structure/ descriptions) or fluent read ever, but then again, what is? Don't ask me, I have no clue concering the details. Sue me...

 

Story

The MC accidentally teleports himself to another world. A fantasy world. Who would have thought? Not the most original premise, but that is all the bad things you can say about that.

The world is more complex than your typical fantasy/game world in terms of systems, relationships and races. And all I can say is that it might not be the only world he will visit, although I guess by far the most part of the story will take place there. Not that much has happened in terms of major events on a kingdom-wide, much less global scale. But that will change very soon, I imagine. But I guess we won't get a lot of conquering, empire-building or "saving the world" (intentionally that is), which I like.

If you want to know what will probably the focus of the story later on : Spoiler

 Rainer starts out as your typical lvl 1 punching bag without any real power, but that changes changes not too soon after. And at a certain point it escalates rather beautifully. And again at a later point. And probably again and again... god I love this. It is basically his personal power trip, but without the "hey look I'm soooo cool and awesome (*cough* annoying *cough*)" part.

During his adventures he meets a couple of interresting "people" that become his companions - including female ones. Not quite a harem story (yet) and probably won't have a lot of those elements. His female company is not the focus anyway, but rather the relationships between all members of the group and other people, and - equally important - lots and lots of of new shinies and skills for our favourite magical nerd to play around with. Not that he does a lot of the latter, as he is pretty serious.

 

---------

Well that concludes this particular trainwreck of a review.

Thanks to the author for writing this! Now, if there was only more of it..... :( (yay for unrealistic expectations).

 

 

Serguzzle
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Compelling; simply written but extremely fun

TL;DR: It's a power trip, and the author understands this. My concerns and dislikes are pretty minor and come down to a number of nuances. Definitely keeping an eye on this, and it's by a pretty long shot the best story on this website. For all my critique it's a sure-fire dopamine injection.

Arcane Emperor showcases all of the right stuff for a story like this: a solid outsider protagonist whom we can watch grow as he experiences an alien world, consistent counterpoints for his growth so that we can observe how alien he is to his new setting, and exciting presentation of the ripples left in his wake at both the personal level and the greater scope. I think the presentation is particularly worthy of praise despite its mechanical simplicity. This story is really fun and the author understands how to make the reader excited.

Don't get it twisted, though: I do think that there's a lot that could be improved. It's very good young adult fiction, but young adult isn't necessarily a compliment in my mind. There's a consistency beyond typical amateur fare. I enjoyed it across the board because there's a great focus on "civilized society" and where "rule through power" stands in its context, and how power can affect it. I think that is pretty brilliantly done: it is extremely exciting to watch the progression across different strata of the world, and understanding clear growth across the arcs of the story.

But it's not perfect, and it is pretty simple: I kind of grimaced at the early presentation, and the themes on display are extremely basic, even if thematic resonance is sound. The author has consistently improved over the chapters: there's a significant increase in quality as we go along; in the end this is nowhere near as damning as it could be. Yet some things remain to keep it from being perfect:

  • Many characters come across as flat, e.g. antagonists. I respect that there's always an attempt to make them well-rounded and give them purpose, but I believe this requires some more work moving forward, especially as we move forward towards the Demon arcs.
  • Kara is not compelling as a character, and I haven't seen the narrative attempting to ameliorate this. I do appreciate that the narrative reflects Rainer's almost constant concern for Kara's safety, but she's extremely one-dimensional.
  • There's always more work to be done on your technical skills. It's competent, for sure, and the straightforward and simple writing is very good for that competence, imagery can be lacking. Some great moments have been great due to how matter-of-fact revelations of power have been, but some have been great despite that.
  • Technically, the simplicity in the prose makes subtext and foreshadowing pretty evident, and themes being pointed out glaring. I would work on attempting to delve into something deeper than the skin level, a story within a story, rather than making everything about this one thing at a time.
  • Could use less PG-13 intimacy. My suggestion is: go all the way or don't keep touching upon it so lightly. It's just a distraction from what really matters here.

And one thing that's not bad: while the plot is very well-crafted and foreshadowing is light-handed, progression through arcs is pretty predictable. I think a lot of this is due to the protagonist's approach to the problems he faces, and I don't mind that there's less drama than there could be, but most conflict comes down to wondering what the trade-off might be in the end. This ties into some of the themes of power trumping everything, so I'm totally down with it, but in other stories this won't necessarily work.

alexkagedk
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The Best Novel I Have Ever Read

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS.

Let's get it on:

 

1. I am heavily invested in these characters (especially the MC).

2. The MC is OP, for sure, but at the same time... not quite. If he wasn't OP he would have died so many times by now, it's not even funny (he technically died a few times). The ridiculous level of BS the MC has to go through when fighting, leveling up or saving his comrades is absolutely monstrous. The MC is flawed like all the other characters in the novel. He is no hero, no Marry Sue, not a savior or anything like that. He is quite brutal, ruthless at times but cares a great deal about his comrades... especially the 2 girls he loves and would go to any lenghts to save and defend his comrades or enact vengeance on his enemies or the enemies of his comrades. Mind you... those "lenghts" are calculated and thoroughly thought out before acting on them.

3. Murphy's law is in effect all the time across the novel. One minute you're resting and testing some stuff, the other minute you're put literally in hell and you have to get out of it, by yourself, while being chased by an army of demons.

4. The characters are very well fleshed out across the novel and their interactions are marvelous and well thought out.

5. The MC's 2 girls (love interests) are nicely characterized and fleshed out. Their characters evolve quite unexpectedly and realistically across the novel. I would point out to chapter 69 here.

6. Going back to how well the 2 girls are fleshed out I will point to the discussion in the beginning of chapter 69 between the MC and one of the girls. Good Lord, Jesus Christ, Mother of God... that small dialog along with the explanation of it pulls at your heart strings... it's downright heart wrenching. A void filled my stomach when I was reading it. You can feel that no matter how strong the characters are, they still have human emotions they still have insecurities and fears and are, in the end, flawed; which is a big plus when portraying characters in novels.

7. The level ups and the MC's increase in power is great to read through. The explanations are thorough and I would find myself actually lost in how well the "stats" are presented and would go over the MC's stats, even planning out and thinking how would he evolve from here on out.
8. The action and fight scenes are great... nicely explained and filled with a ton of: "Oh s***!" moments. There are some fight scenes where those moments just keep piling up, one after another, over and over. It is very entertaining... keeps you on edge all the time.

9. The MC's little sister is awesome;lovable character. I've read a ton of novels (the japanese kind) where the little sister always gets in the way of the MC's love life (it's a cliche present in a ton of japanese novels, I hate this cliche and can't come to terms with it) but not here, no no no... this little sister character is quite the opposite being quite intrigued and fascinated by her brother's love life without getting in the way (she actually helps him).

10. The antagonists are OP as well with a lot of BS abilities. The fights with the MC's comrades and MC are enjoyable and I would like to point out again that if the MC and his comrades that are influenced by his powers were not also OP, they would have died so many many many times in their encounters.

11. The flow of the writing is excellent; how the different character's points of view are presented is nicely done and doesn't break immersion; you can also tell who's who and who's point of view you are actully reading at that time.

12. The "adult" content is nice and well... not overly explicit but not glanced over either. It gives that more mature feeling of the novel and helps advance the romantic part of the novel; it's not put there for blatant fan service.

My suggestions:

1. Don't increase the number of love interests or potential love interests or whatnot. It's perfect the way it is. You have a ton of things that can be explored with the 2 girs he has and their interactions with one another. I absolutely enjoy the way you portrayed romance in this novel and feel that adding another love interest would just destroy everything that has been so well thought out until now. In contrast to a lot of other novels I've read, the romance is portrayed as being real, palpable and flawed like any day to day romance would be.

2. Don't glance over the MC's power boosts. He received a bit of a power boost in the abyss chapter which is quite significant and I feel you glanced over it. I find the chapters where the MC evolves and gets new powers, titles, upgrades a big part of the novel and it would be a shame for you to glance over these upgrades, no matter how small they are.

 

That's all for my review and suggestions. All in all, if you ever decide to go full out with your authorship, I will buy the living s*** out of your books.

rubycona
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Compelling, with issues

This is a fun romp, and I've really enjoyed the read. Unfortunately, while the story itself is just as delightful as when I started, it seems like a lot of the quality is diminishing. The technical skill seems to be diminishing, to my surprise.

I would absolutely love to see this work get in the hands of a good editor, and find its way to proper publishing. It's got excellent potential - a truly fantastic story. And the characters are fun, too.

So much of the conveyance and technical writing skill is lacking, however, that I can't fully recommend it. I wonder what this story's future holds, and while I wish that it were presented better, I'm glad the story is ultimately doing well.

earmuffs
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I usually don't bother reviewing...

I don't usually bother reviewing but I wan't more chapters so sue me.

What this story has: impeccable style, a solid story and great characters.

What this story doesn't have: more damn chapters. Keep 'em coming, mate.

By the way, who the hell decrees that having a borderline generic story is bad? This author pulled a typical theme as a story but made it his own (please keep it that way). I'm putting my odds in favor of this work.

At least the MC doesn't make your innards cringe horrifically (except that one time... T_T).