Re: Death's Melancholy

by RegalMania

Original Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Martial Arts
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Sexual Content
Rebirth- Check
Death- Check
Melancholy- Check

This is going to be good.

Prepare for a story that questions your Morals, possibly your Sexuality, and Generally your ability to see what could possibly happen next. This is a world where Grey really doesn't explain anything.

Vague yet interesting Summary- Check

Now Let's Begin.
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Character Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Total Views :
  • 52,016
  • Average Views :
  • 4,335
  • Followers :
  • 246
  • Favorites :
  • 71
  • Ratings :
  • 22
  • Pages :
  • 132
Advertisement
Go to Table of Contents
Rate it
Report
Advertisement
Author
RegalMania

RegalMania

Achievements
This user has no achievements to display
Advertisement
Reviews

Leave a review

RegalMania
  • Overall Score

I prefer the first person viewpoint.  It’s more personal.

 

It gives you the feeling that you are the main character. That the actions that are being taken are actually important and not something to be glossed over as if a matter of fact.  I believe my story will get better. Its slow going in the beginning. As well as sometimes confusing, I admit.  Some parts could be revised and edited to better describe whats happening. But I can fix that.

 

That’s the point of this review.

 

I do not desire to leave ‘you’ ,the readers, disappointed in a story that began at a peak and settles at valleys. Stories that have to settle with a rom-com type of atmosphere to keep the reader interested are disappointing. I will cancel this whole series if i even get near that line. I do not desire to simply tell a story. I wish to improve to tell an even better one.

 

So I need anyone who finds my writing interesting or the opposite to give me your critique. And I’m not talking about, “Guys its amazing.” Or “I hate this don’t read this” reviews.

 

I’m talking about  sincere reviews that tell me what I do that does not help the story from grammar mistakes to flat out plot holes. All of those mean something.  If you can give me those, I promise I will make this series one to remember.

 

Sincerely,

RegalMania                                       

Maram
  • Overall Score

dont take it seriously I am in amature so do what you belive is right

To tell the truth I enjoyed it but  the mc seem to have a lot of previous live or maybe not so I am confused 

is this the future live of the mc or his past one or the same life but after many years you need to make 

that clear and I THINK that you dont describe facial expressions that much so I dont  know what does he feel 

regarding certain thing to put it simpy I think he doesnt have strong emotion so  is the main character made to  be that way or ..... ..................   

Anyway , overall your story is simply amazing  and Ibelive that it is heading to a great. Direction

keep up the good work

dwoolfy
  • Overall Score

If this story was not so confusing I would likely give it a very good score.  It kind of reminds me of "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" in how it seems to jump.  For some that is good, for others bad.  I personally disliked Haruhi Suzumiya mainly because of the confusing nature of the story and how it was executed.  This story has basically the same problems that Haruhi Suzumiya had as well, which means that events are out of order as well as what seems to be a problem with consistency.

Maybe once this story gets further along it will come together, but as it stands I can not really recommend it.

The good things about this story is that the storytelling seems to be good.  The grammar is mostly good, and the characters seem to be interesting.   

 

At this point I do not see any major issues with the writing style, other then what I mentioned above.  In a way it currently seems to be a series of events that do not really fit together to make a whole.  It seems to be missing big chunks of the puzzle, where some of the pieces are a little out of shape.

z3385911
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

 A great story, this deserves 5 stars. This is one of the better reincarnation stories out there. A few grammatical errors here and there, but can be easily understood. I don't know why the others are saying it is confusing,because I clearly understood what you were trying to portray. Keep up the good work and I can't wait for MORE!!.

ButcheredSoul
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

THIS IS THE SO FAR ONE OF THE TWO CROWNS OF WRITING THAT I HAVE COME ACROSS

Dear Author, please don’t stop writing this, you skill in weaving stories into life far surpasses those considered the best in this website. I look foward to your next set of chapters and I am sure people will come to realize how wonderful this story is

 

[RANT]      FROM THE MOMENT I STARTED TO READ< I COULD ENVISION WHAT WAS GOING ON IN MY MIND< THE CHARACTERS ARE WONDERFULLY WRITTEN INTO LIFE AND WE CAN FULLY FEEL AND EXPERIENCE WHAT THE CHARACTERS ARE DOING. GOD THIS NEEDS MORE ATTENTIONS< SHAME THAT THIS ISNT EVEN IN THE TOP 10< WITH ONLY 8 CHAPTERS< IT ALREADY BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF MANY TOP 10 STORIES SO FAR     [RANT]

 

[Subject to Change Later On]

That will be my short rant, now one to serious business. Like what others have stated previously, the story itself is a tad confusing to follow from the first chapter. I was at a loss to comprehend what was going on at times, but that was solved as I read more and more. The time-skips confuses me at occasionally,  but I will change my statement once I go over this story once again at another time.

 

 

Sorry for the Caps ;)

Hentama
  • Overall Score

My only real critique of the story so far would be how it jumps back and forth on the timeline. It went from the initial training grounds, to the far future in the tower, back to when he met his "sister" and then back again to being shown around the academy. It just feels out of order when you re-read from the beginning.

 

Otherwise, really enjoy the story. Really looking forward to the truth behind Sun and the Gods.

Aonte
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

I wanted to give it 4.5 stars, but you wanted a honest opinion

The style is average, I don’t notice anything bad with it, but it’s not something unusual.

The story is good so far, not too good, but it’s interesting. The problem with the time jumps could be fixed with some more explanation in the first chapters, I really recomend to fix as it’s going to be a pain in the ass later.

The grammar is not half bad, not too good.

Character is interesting, but you need to work in his expresions as it’s a bit weird your explanation about his pervert side, it’s not bad just make it give the readers the emotion that the MC is having.

“We are all racists by nature and equal before God’s eyes”

-The drunk Aonte in a party without a dance partner.