The faint fragrance of strawberry coming from her hair drove me crazy. The taste of her birthday cake-flavored lip gloss always had me in ecstasy. The sounds that came out of her when she was feeling frisky were music to my ears. The softness of her skin reminded me of an extra soft throw blanket.
Mmm...blanket. Children often carry blankets around in order to “feel safe” from the monster living under their beds. Monsters often ain't satisfied with just sitting in one place for too long, so the kid knows to always watch their back. They take the blanket with them everywhere they go; school, grocery store, daycare—you get the picture. The little squirt refuses to drop the blanket for any particular reason. Their parents get annoyed when they bring it to the dinner table. Their teachers get annoyed when they refuse to leave it in their backpacks during class. Other kids laugh and say only babies still carry around blankets. Nobody understands, but to the kid, that blanket is everything to them. They call it their “security blankie”. I might be a tough guy, but every now and then I needed to feel safe and loved, too. Heidi was my security; my safe haven from the mad world on the outside.
My security blankie that Paul needed to quit taking away from me.
Upon my declaration, she pushed me away. “Genghis, can that wait until we get home? Paul just left to go piss; it ain't like he had to go home to pick up toilet paper or anythin'.” I gave her a sly grin and nodded towards the direction Paul had walked in. “Paul doan know where the bathrooms are. It'll take him a while to find them, piss, and then walk all the way back here.” She gave me a look teeming with doubt. “And what if he comes back to ask you where they're at?”
Dammit, she had a point.
“I'll keep watch.”
She crossed her arms against her stone-washed denim jacket and cocked an eyebrow. “Will you now? Will you really?” My teeth ground into my bottom lip. I wanted to tell her to shut up the hell up about Paul and just enjoy the dirty things I was gonna do to her. But instead, I chuckled and took her face in my hands. “Trust me, alright?” I whispered as I planted another kiss on her lips. She sank into my kiss for about five seconds before she realized what she was doing and pulled away again. “Genghis, we really shouldn't. Not here.” I groaned loudly. From the moment I kissed her the first time, I knew she was gonna try fighting me on this. But was she fighting because she truly didn't want it, or because Paul didn't want it?
“Heidi, the more you argue, the less time we'll have until he actually does come back!” She bit her lip; whether it was out of frustration or frustration, I wasn't too sure. However, I intended to find out.
So I looked into her eyes intently and placed a hand over her heart. I then leaned in to whisper more Italian magic into her ear. “Tu sei il mio piccolo amore.” As quick as a finger snap, her heart pounded something fierce. She bit harder on her lip as to trap the sounds threatening to come out.
Oh yeah, I had her figured out alright.
“Forget about him, baby. Just let me take care of you.”
She let out an odd mixture of a moan and whine.
I shut her up by kissing her again. My left arm wrapped itself around her upper back, hand pushing her a little closer. She finally surrendered and placed her hands on my chest. I gave myself a mental pat on the back. Victory was mine; Paul wouldn't keep her from me this time. Now it was time for me—and her—to claim our rewards.
I smiled against her lips as my right hand untucked her white top. Heidi shuttered with delight when she felt my palm rub her smooth stomach. She bit my lip again, which might've excited me a little too much. My pace turned from gentle to urgent in an instant. I growled into her kiss as my hand gave her right breast a nice but rather rough squeeze.
Hoo mama, the reaction that got me!
Her yelps of pleasure were luckily all muffled in our kiss. My breathing grew a tad louder when she proceeded to gnaw on my bottom lip like a termite. Testing my luck, I teased the hard nipple hiding behind her bra with my thumb. Following suit, she reached down in my lap and felt around. Once she found what she was looking for, she caressed the bulge that ran down my left thigh.
I chuckled, pushing her hand away. “You can work on me later, babygirl. This is all about you for now.” Taking advantage of the quick breather, I looked around to see if I could see the herb skipping merrily on his way back. When I didn't see him, I began unbuttoning Heidi's jeans.
Honestly, a part of me wanted Paul to walk by and see what was happening. His stupid smile would be wiped clean off his ugly mug. Their doomed relationship would end. Heidi would finally be mine. But alas, Heidi would never forgive me if I allowed that to happen. “What happens...happens. Just lemme handle it,” she always told me.
Three years later, here we are.
Still making love in secret.
So much for “handlin' it”, Heidi.
After unzipping her, I slid my hand into her pants. By instinct, she spread her legs just enough for me to have easy access. Reaching down to the area between her legs, I could feel the dampness of her underwear. Women have it lucky when it comes to arousal. They can be hornier than a fucking bull but nobody would be able to tell unless they just bluntly told someone. Men, on the other hand? Yeah, we're screwed. Ain't no way we can hide how horny we are. Well, I mean, we can...but nine times out of ten it's still painfully obvious to anybody with a knack for thorough observation.
Or, you know, anybody with a brain.
I chuckled darkly and leaned my face over to her ear. “I see you're enjoyin' yourself.” She responded with a quiet “Mmhmm”. “How's about I—uh—strofinati la clitoride?” She gasped loudly; she don't know Italian, but the last word sounded too much like another word for her to get confused. I slid my fingers up. Once I found the little bulb over her opening, I let my fingers get to work.
Cue the mad loud moaning.
I had to quickly kiss her in order for her to be properly muzzled. Even then, her body sure as hell wasn't silenced. Heidi grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled hard. I muzzled my yelp of pain by biting into her lip. She didn't pull any hairs out luckily, but Christ did it hurt. Not that I'm complaining or anything; I found love and pain to be a delicious combination most of the time.
It's just that this made my Paul Watch duties a lot more difficult. I mean, have you ever watched for a woman's boyfriend while you were in the middle of pleasuring her? It's a lot harder than it sounds! There's all sorts of factors that could get in the way of you properly watching for Captain Buzzkill. You could get sucked in to the moment and forget you were supposed to be watching for him, she could be one of those loud girls who loved letting the world know how good you made her feel, or—you know—she could yank chunks of your hair from your fucking scalp.
Twirling my fingertips in little circles, I quickly pulled away from her lips just long enough to see if Paul was in the distance anywhere. I stopped my movements for a second when I saw somebody coming. It wore white and was slowly walking down the path. However, as the figure got a little closer, I could see it wasn't Paul at all, but some old lady. I sighed with relief and continued my work.
“Such a good girl,” I whispered to her as my pace quickened, “reactin' so nicely to my touch.” She bit into her lip, trying her damnedest to be quiet. My tongue teased her lip again just before I shoved my hand into her panties. Her underground fortress was feeling awfully humid at that moment; took my hand about thirty seconds to break into a sweat. I traced her opening with my index finger just before sliding it and my middle finger in.
The look on her face made me chuckle a little.
“Oh Genghis, hurry!” she moaned through clenched teeth. I kissed her real quick. “Of course.” And with that, I pounded my fingers in and out of her like a boxer training for his big match. Her toes curled in her shoes, her head jerked around, and she beautifully sang the Hymn of Satisfaction that I so enjoyed hearing on any given day. It was times like these that I was doubtful that her and Paul ever actually had sex. As much as I wanted to believe I was just that damn good at pleasing women, it seemed much more likely that Paul was just a prude who was never quite in the mood whenever she was. Or, if he did want sex, his methods of getting it were much too vanilla for her liking.
She began chanting my name like a mantra. First it was quiet, but then it got increasingly louder. I don't know how she managed, but her voice somehow managed to excite my body more than it already was. A woman's touch without the literal touch.
“You keep that up Heidi, you'll be gettin' somethin' bigger than these fingers later.” She threw her head back and looked at me with hungry eyes. “Is that a threat, tough guy?” I winked, now ramming my fingers into her harder. “It's a promise.”
A promise I would have to fulfill later, unfortunately.
In the corner of my eye, I could finally see Paul making his way back towards us.
“Fix your clothes,” I said as my hand came flying out of her pants. She quickly zipped, buttoned, and tucked in her shirt. I took a moment to enjoy her scent on my fingers before deciding to enjoy the taste, as well. She gave me a look once she noticed I had my fingers in my mouth. Not a bad look, mind you; she was used to seeing this by now.
Once Paul got back, I withdrew my fingers and repositioned myself so my knees were up to my chest. “Sorry I was gone so long, you guys. Got into a conversation with this gentlemen just outside the restrooms. He served in Vietnam, how cool is that?” Heidi gave him an uneasy smile and I snorted. “Yeah sure, nothin' like losin' a war and then havin' to come home a loser.”
Paul gave me a look, hinting vaguely at minor annoyance. Good; starting something with him could, at least, help my blood flow back to my brain as opposed to a certain area reserved for Heidi. “That's such an age old mindset, Genghis. It's nearly 1990—the end of an era! Can we try to move past this defeatist mentality and start over by appreciating just how many sacrifices our armed forces have made for us?” I cracked up, amused by his attempts to now grow a pair after a day of being suffocated by cigarette smoke, punched in the face, scared into needing a bathroom break, and having his woman be finger-fucked behind his back.
“Paulie, we sent thousands of men and women to die over a war we had no business gettin' involved in. It was literally politicians jerkin' off over “the reds” that got us there in the first place. People got drafted to fight, people died, people came back scared of their own shadows.” I crossed my arms, giving him a deadass stare. “They mighta sacrificed a lot for us, pal...but their sacrifices were all in vain. Every single one of them.”
Paul glared at me, finally sick of my shit. “Your own father fought in that war, Genghis. Show a little respect.” I laughed even harder. “No he didn't. My uncle Paolo? He fought in the Vietnam War and got his ass done in by a shrapnel blast to the fuckin' face. My old man? He was assigned an office gig during the war—“Sole Survivor” shit and all. When he found out he wasn't gonna fight, he went nuts on his commandin' officer and was dishonorably discharged from the military.”
Paul threw his arms up, likely signifying that I had won this stupid little debate. “Whatever man—just remember that those soldiers went to defend their country. They're heroes.” I rolled my eyes. “Ain't nothin' heroic 'bout—”
Heidi smacked me in the back of the head. “That's enough, Genghis. Now's not the time or place for this discussion.” I rubbed the spot she hit, grumbling about how Paul started it. After a moment, I looked at her and mouthed the words, “Did I win?” She looked confused. “The bet.” She gave me a look indicating that her memory had caught up with her.
The herb, meanwhile, looked up at the sky. “Anywho, it's getting kind of late. Did you guys drive to the soup kitchen?” Heidi patted my shoulder. “This asshole did, yeah.” Her insult got a laugh out of the boy scout and a satisfied grin out of me. “Why don't I walk you guys back to the car? By the time we reach the soup kitchen, it will be dark out.” We stood up at the same time, but both to declare different things.
“We doan need your help.”
“We'd love that!”
I grilled Heidi big time as she took Paul's hand once again. He kissed her on the mouth and they both looked at me. “C'mon, Genghis. Let's go!” I glared holes through the both of them.
Funny to think that just five minutes ago, I was making her squirm and moan to my touch. Now, here she is in his arms once again. I wanted to take his hand and break his fucking wrist, but it has always been like this. I give her a mind-blowing fuck and then she immediately runs off to be with her loverboy. She was his before she was mine. He won her over with love and I won her over with lust. I was never gonna be anything more to her than some free dick she could ride whenever Paul wasn't able to get it up for her.
Some guys would be okay with this.
Some guys wouldn't be okay with this.
Some guys would rather have something than nothing.
And so I followed the lovebirds back to the soup kitchen.
You already know which guy I am.
I remained quiet during the walk back to the soup kitchen, trailing slowly behind the loving couple. Well—okay—mostly quiet. The only point of the walk where my nerves were shot was when we came across the gas station again. I had hoped it wouldn't be until the morning when they discovered a body in the bathroom, but luck wasn't on my side tonight. Cop cars all around, lights flashing, yellow tape barricading the building. All sorts of people were huddled around the crime scene, oohing and awwing.
Paul, unfortunately, just so happened to be one of those interested bystanders.
“Get back here!” I squawked as he went sprinting over toward the gas station. Heidi stayed behind with me, watching the situation with moderate concern. We both saw Paul tug on the sleeve of a rather lanky officer surveying the area. He looked at Paul and the boy scout exchanged words with him. The officer then looked over in our direction. I immediately looked away to pull a cigarette from my pocket. Heidi smacked my arm, murmuring something about how bad smoking is for me. I ignored the living shit out of her and lit up. Once the officer finished exchanging his own words, Paul nodded and ran back over to us.
“Well? What's goin' on?”
Paul stopped in front of her, big frown on his mug.
“Somebody was murdered.”
Her eyes widened like UFO saucers.
“Murdered? How? Why?!”
He shook his head.
“They don't know. They haven't been able to find any discernible clues yet.”
She put a hand over her mouth.
Now it was her turn to shake her head.
“Why do sickos like this get to run around? Why ain't they behind bars?”
I bit my lip and looked over at the crime scene. The kid's wallet burned inside my jacket. I had all the evidence the cops needed. I had the murder weapon attached to my fucking body. I was the sicko Heidi was speaking so poorly about. I took a long drag on my smoke and blew it toward the gas station. The sooner I could get away from this place, the better off I'd be. “I'm sure they'll get the bastard, Heidi,” I said halfheartedly. After my piece, I walked ahead of the lovebirds. After a minute of walking, I turned to see them not following me. They were still too busy staring at the gas station.
“C'mon, Romeo and Juliet. Let's go!”
They looked over at me and quickly nodded before joining me.
Paul's prediction about it getting dark by the time we reached the soup kitchen was correct. Granted, it wasn't so late that my shit brown SJ was the only vehicle in the parking lot. If I had to guess, it was about 6:30 or 7:00 in the evening. The soup kitchen staff were probably wrapping things up and getting ready to go home themselves.
Paul kissed Heidi goodbye and announced that he'd call her sometime tomorrow.
And then he was gone.
At last, it was just us again.
I fished for my car keys in my front pocket. After pulling them out, I unlocked my driver's side door and then walked around to unlock Heidi's door. We both entered the '82 Jeep and buckled up. She looked at me and smiled. “So...what a day, huh?” I grunted in response as I cranked up the engine. Once the motor was running, I backed out of the parking lot and drove out into the road, home-bound.
Rob Halford's voice appeared on the radio as he sang about how he was always watching us. “I'm made of metal, my circuits gleam...I am perpetual; I keep the country clean!” Normally I'd be rocking out to the hard tunes playing on my radio, but not tonight. Not with a gazillion cop cars patrolling the area in search of that boy's killer; in search of me.
It was a fucking parade of boys in blue combing the streets that night. You'd swear, the way they were acting, I killed some kind of big name celebrity. I didn't; this schmuck was just some kid. That was all. I still had yet to even hear anybody refer to this kid as anything other than “Somebody”.
After about the seventh near-miss with a goddamn squad car, I began angrily beating my hands into my steering wheel. “Sonuva—watch the motherfuckin' road, asshole!” Heidi put a hand in my lap. “Genghis, calm down! They're busy tonight.” Growling loudly, I made a sharp turn into the nearest parking lot I could find; which just so happened to be Walmart. I parked at the very back on the lot and killed the engine. I just sat in silence for a couple of moments, trying to calm down. Heidi rubbed my shoulder, trying to comfort me in an unspoken manner. She meant well, but alas she'd never be able to take this feeling out of me.
The feeling of impending doom.
They had no clues. They knew something was wrong. They knew a kid was dead. But they ain't got the slightest clue who it could've been that offed him. That's why they're going crazy on the streets. They're desperate. They don't want people to realize just how incompetent the NYPD truly is. They're looking for something—anything—that gets their asses out of the frying pan.
Zombie Bastard ain't gonna have this one.
The cops will never find me.
Trying to shake my thoughts, I looked over at Heidi. She offered me a timid smile. “You okay, tough guy?” I cocked an eyebrow at her. She had called me “tough guy” again. Last time she called me that, I had made her a promise. A sexy promise, at that.
In my car, nobody cared how loud we were.
First I unclicked my seat belt.
Then I unclicked hers.
It's a hundred times better than waking up the two boring men at home.
“Better now that you've reminded me,” I answered as I leaned in to kiss her lips. With no Paul around to make her second guess herself, Heidi jumped right into my arms. Our tongues danced the night away while our hands fought to remove one another's jacket. Her jacket slid off her arms and fell behind her and my jacket ended up being gently placed in the back of my SJ.
Her hands slid under my shirt and up to my torso. She kneaded her fingers into my somewhat hairy chest, making my eyes threaten to return to the back of my head. I leaned to whisper more foreign words into her ear. “Ti scoperò fino a farti esplodere di piacere.” She bit my bottom lip as she worked to remove my shirt. I broke the kiss long enough for her to get it over my head and into the back along with my jacket.
A little too eagerly, I began to fumble with my belt buckle. She giggled with anticipation and then proceeded to kiss hard into my neck. I began moaning the second she started biting into my flesh. “Yeah baby...oh—mark me, baby,” I begged loudly. She smiled against my neck and did as she was told. Shaking with arousal, I nearly ripped the zipper off my jeans with how hard I yanked it.
“Succhiami il cazzo!” I gasped whenever she started to roughly suck on my neck flesh. I quickly freed my cock from the uncomfortable confines of my jeans. She quit kissing my neck to look into my lap. She smiled and leaned down.
At first, all went well. Her lips fit nicely around me and she sucked at an easy pace. I didn't expect her to go very fast, considering how uncomfortable it's made her in the past. I ain't a guy that typically brags about his size...but let's just say Heidi's given me the nickname “Jawbreaker” on more than one occasion.
I let my eyes close and my head fall back against the headrest of my seat. My fingers pulled the hair tie out of her hair, destroying the ponytail once and for all. I tossed the black hair tie in the back and rest my right hand on the back of her head. My left hand held on to the steering wheel for leverage.
But with every good moment comes at least one downside. Even with my eyes closed, I could still hear the police sirens outside in the streets. They might've not given a shit about two people fucking in public at the moment, but that was only because they didn't know any better. Had they known—had somebody been able to identify me—I'd probably be outside getting my hands cuffed while sporting the largest erection ever. Wouldn't that make an interesting cover for the paper? Trying to block the police from my mind, I reached over to my glove compartment and pulled it open. I grabbed my box of condoms and looked inside.
Two rubbers left.
I tapped Heidi in the back of the head, making her stop her movements. “Get in the back,” I gruffly commanded. She nodded and climbed into the backseat. I may talk shit about my ride sometimes, but one thing I loved about my SJ was how spacious it was. Plenty of trunk room, enough breathing room for passengers, and more than enough leg room for people looking to fuck in the backseat.
She quickly began tugging at her own jeans while I worked on joining her in the back. I helped her out by pulling her pants and underwear down to her knees, which she then took over in removing completely from her legs. I spread her legs apart just before ripping the condom wrapper open with my teeth. She watched me as I took the rubber out of the wrapper and rolled it onto my shaft. Judging by the look in her eyes, she didn't want to waste any time. So I happily obliged and shoved myself into her.
Thus began our dance. What dance, you ask? Well, that is both an easy question and a hard one. It's obvious what we were doing, but what it felt like was so much more than that. We were celebrating the night, presenting our half naked bodies to the stars. We were celebrating our humanity. Man, at his very core, is cruel and ruthless. He ain't good at anything other than causing more problems for other men. The one thing, though, that he is good at is releasing sexual tension. Because that was what it meant to be human; get angry and calm down by having lots of bestial sex.
But, most importantly? We were celebrating each other. We were showing each other how much we needed one another. Lord knows I needed Heidi more than air. And even if she didn't truly need me, she still decided to give me the time of day for this night and other nights like it. And I could never take that for granted.
Speeding up, her lovely moans are all I can hear. She's telling me to go faster—go harder. I eagerly do as I'm told. Anything to keep her yelling. Anything to tune out those awful police sirens.
I feel her walls squeeze the life out of me. She's now screaming in pure ecstasy, thrashing under me like a maniac. My name easily rolls off her tongue. Her tone is just enough to drive me over the edge...but not before a frightening feeling makes itself known around the head of my penis. While the rest of it feels nicely secure within the condom, I feel a sudden lack of constriction at the end.
But I'm too late to stop myself.
My orgasm comes hard.
I'm gasping for air as my seed spills inside of her.
The very second I felt it end, I pulled out of her to examine the condom. She didn't notice what I was doing as the afterglow had her eyes comfortably closed. I touched the part that I had felt the strange feeling at. My eyes widened in sheer horror.
The condom had fucking ripped.
I wasn't able to stop.
“Mmm, that was amazing!” Heidi crowed. I swallowed hard, quickly pulling the condom off. “Uh, yeah, good babygirl.” I tossed the broken condom on the floorboard.
Heidi could not know about this.
It would just make her worry nonstop for the next couple of weeks.
Who knows, maybe nothing would come from this?
Maybe this was just a scare.
Just a scare.
“Say, Heidi? You—uh—need anythin' before we go home?” She opened her eyes, smiling. “I have everythin' I need right here, baby.” I grinned uneasily and nodded towards the building. “You need—uh—like—uh—a piss break or anythin'?” She giggled. “Well, I guess I should probably pee before we go home.”
I nodded hard.
“Yes. Yes you should.”