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by badw0lf

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Comedy Satire LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Strong Lead Summoned Hero
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

 Everyone knows how the general story is supposed to go. A man, unwittingly going about his normal and ordinary life, is suddenly whisked off to a game style fantasy world where he is expected to become the unwavering hero of the realm. That is until the summoned hero throws a Hail Mary and gets himself transported to a tutorial world before the summoning can be completed. Add in a clumsy goddess and a broken planet and that is just where our story begins...

 

Greetings all, thanks for taking the time to read this. This is my first story here on RRL and it's becomming one of the things I look forward to working on each day. As of January 30, the story description has been updated (now that the characters have told me what was actually going on this author thought it prudent to update this) . Updates will be a minimum of 1 chapter a week, with the goal of every other day. You the readers have become an integral part of the story helping to decide how things will progress, so enjoy the story and please leave a review or rating so this author can continue to improve the story.

As a side note, I wish I could add a science tag to this. While this is still fiction, I have been incorporating real life scientific theories and explanations for how things could be *plausibly* explained. (No, I will not lecture on these points, but they are added to author notes)

~badw0lf

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badw0lf

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DrSupbro
  • Overall Score

The story is honestly pretty amazing. It isn't the best, and it isn't the worst. It is really good though. 

5 star ratings for me are reserved for the legends of this site. 4-4.5 stars are reserved for really good stories that just don't hit that legendary mark. This story is good, but isn't quite "almost there". I really want to give it a 4 star rating but I feel like it is just the tiniest smidge off. I blame that due to the fact that only 15 chapters have been released so far. The author hasn't had that much time to shine

It has a ways to go, but the way the author is able to keep things going is damn good. The way of creating the OP MC is interesting. He is stuck in a "Tutorial World" of sorts after a summoning gone wrong, and after an undetermined amount of time being stuck there, he strengthens up and learns to use magic itself, not just conjuring magic via a spell. He can actually manipulate it. He was there for over a decade, but possibly a century or more for all we know. 

The story follows the MC as he is finally freed from his prison of seemingly paused time where he doesn't need to eat, sleep, drink, anything, and is teleported to a place that is odd and almost never seen on this site. Read to see what I'm talking about, but then the story follows our OP MC and his adventures with a little girl he befriended. 

The author manages to keep his strength likeable. None of that "Omg ur so stronk and amazeballs omg" to every increased level of power the MC shows. He also doesn't hide all of his powers. It is obvious that the author is having him limit his strength to a more normal level so he doesn't crack the world in half, but he is by no means a pushover. 

The ways the author is able to create and strengthen the bond between the MC and the little girl is pretty good, and while it could use a bit of work with how quickly it happened, it by no means is bad. The only thing I would do is just have a bit more time go by before making her as attached as she currently is. 

The story is honestly a nice read though. A calming slice of life in a fantasy world with an MC that will probably become a god sooner or later. 

This story was worth the time reading. There isn't a clear goal in the story as of yet, but not only is it a nice switch from the step by step stories  (I mean mc gains power, goes to magic school, impresses girl, beats bully, etc..), but it also foreshadows a future plot. There will most definitely be an issue the MC will be faced with.

I feel like when that is finally shown, then the story will be able to possibly become legendary. 

Skyblue
  • Overall Score

A mediocore story and too many distractions

There is nothing special about the story or characters. Up until chapter 15, there is still no main plot, it's just a series of MC solving problems with brute force. A boring typical overpowered MC. The fact that the MC is traveling with a little girl who is not a love interest (at least until ch. 15) is actually refreshing, it's not original by any means but I like it.

It's supposed to be a 3 star, but there are just too many distractions. Typos, there are a lot of them, most shouldn't be there if the author uses any basic word processor. And there are too many comments from the author.

Author's comments (usually between brackets) are distracting. It took me out of immersion too many times. The author seems to have a lot of fun writing it, good for him, but I sure don't enjoy reading it.

Novare
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Nice premise but annoying to read

The plot and characters are wonderful, however the author decides to keep breaking the flow and immersion.  Constant interrupts so the author can describe this that or the other my god its like watching a movie with some telling you about everything you see.  I just cant continue this story with all that going on.  If you can ignore this "feature" there is a good story here to read.

Mighty Moushie
  • Overall Score

The first eight chapters are great. There is plenty of humor, and the characters all seem to be believable. There are a few spelling errors per chapter, but you can easily figure out what the author was saying and they have plans to go back and edit at some point. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Montinje
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This is the stuff we need

All chapters so far are great (first 13). The story is interesting and well structured. The over powered aspect of the main character is funny and well handled with some illusion to greater powers that can get involved to ballance the power levels if it gets boring (it is far from that at the moment). The MC having a father like tendecies are really good as is the responsiveness to comments. (I am satisfied with the little enchantress.) 

It is amazing Keep it up.

randompeeps
  • Overall Score

I was going to give you four stars and have my other scores(style, grammar, etc.) be varied corresponding to your level of skill, but I decided to give a five out of five just because some dumbass (Gnarlytreeman) gave you a 0.5 star. 

neko123
  • Overall Score

Stop with the brackets

Well fleshed-out story with a descent plot so far. Overpowered main character which doesnt distracts from the story like in so many other novels. 

The grammer is not perfect but the vocabulary is bountiful and the descriptions are filled with life. The occasionally missing word and wrong sentence structure can be overlooked.

But what is absolutely annoying and the reason I am writing this review in the first place, is the excessive use of brackets inbetween sentences to describe something not part of the story itself. 

If you decide to edit this story in the future, please remove all the author annotations from the story and put them in the correct place (the authors notice at the end or beginning of the chapter). 

Spoiler warning (or reference for author): Check chapter 12, that is the worst one so far, and you will know what I mean.

In the first paragraph you have a fourth-wall breach (which can be good... but decide for yourself) and in the second paragraph you actually explain to people how you can convert units which breaks the flow of this sentence completely. And some paragraphs further down, you inserted a description about the medieval times, long enough to not even remember the beginning of the sentence.

 

Please take this as constructive criticism, I really like the story so far but this just breaks immersion.

tyes77
  • Overall Score

Simple wishfufillment fantasy with an op  that punches his way through everything. If you are looking for something of a plot or conflict you won't find it here since he can easily do whatever he wants. Dunno why this is trending since it's not unique at ALL. 

eljako98
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I don't normally post reviews, but I think the wildly varying reviews for this story make it a very hard story to judge just from the reviews. With that being said, so far there's only 14 chapters available, so not a lot of content to review, but I'll give it my best shot. (mild spoilers as well)

 

Story: So far the overall story is pretty good. It's fairly obvious from the beginning that the MC is going to be incredibly OP, so I think maybe adding a tag for that to the story would be beneficial, but it's (somewhat) explained in a manner that is plausible within the story world. We haven't got a complete backstory on the MC yet, so my opinion may change, but so far we know just enough to keep guessing. Outside of that, the main plotline really hasn't progressed far enough to give much of a review, but the premise (and some of the plotting surrounding the main characters) is interesting and entertaining. 

Characters: I think this is one of the better parts of the story, although due to the lack of MC's backstory I have a hard time reconciling some of his actions. If he DID spend all his time in a tutorial world, why is he both so confident in his abilities, and why is he willing, able, and unbothered by killing people in unknown environments? After the fact, its fairly obvious that they deserved to die, but at the time he had little to no information to work with, so it makes it a bit suspect. Other than that, I like the MC and Eli, which are the only two characters we've gotten much info on so far. 

 

Grammar: Nothing to complain about in the grammar itself, but the author has a tendency to introduce random side comments within the story (like why X part of the story relates to his wife) that can break the immersion. While I do like reading those side comments, especially since they're actually normally either entaining or interesting, I think they'd be far more beneficial to be noted with a superscript (like this1) rather than just thrown in randomly. 

 

Overall, I think it's off to a good start, and I'll continue to read as the author releases it. 

gyro2death
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Slice of life meets OP MC.

Let me start by stating there are only two ways I've ever come across several thousand stories I've read on how to write a character who is "OP" and not ruin it.

This first is to make them overpowered in one aspect yet have the plot require a different aspect. An example of this is to have a genius of strategy in a world where martial power rule.

The second way is to make it a slice of life story. Sadly everyone only writes the former style stories usually. This story is thankfully the latter. This review is going to be long and primarly for the author. I'm sure some will enjoy the depth of the review but I want to give some feedback for the author first and foremost.

Main Characters:

We're not very far in but so far we have an MC who is basically the good guy we always want to see in a novel. The author has added in a few cracks to him and we'll have to see how they develop but so far it looks like the MC is in need of some healing after being stuck loading for so long. I just hope the author doesn't go for the NTR/Tragedy aspect to awaken an enraged MC death god but it doesn't fit this stories mood so I'm betting against it.

For companion characters, this story is moving slowly but making solid progress. We have the primary companion which is a sudo-daughter with a standard tragic backstory and unique powers. I have a slightly bad feeling that she might get kidnapped to move the plot along so I pray I'm wrong on that because she's adorable. She's is kept quite the mystery by the author but I have a feeling she'll drive the plot, just hopefully not by being kidnapped....

A possible love interest has arrived but I can't tell if the author will let the MC grow out of the typical EQ of anime harem lead. To be fair he has a reason to be a bit dense but I have a feeling love interest will be more likely to go the direction comedy rather than romance.

Side Characters:

This is what makes or breaks a slice of life and so far it's going well. The author likes to brag about his wife and her psychology degree, this seems to be helping him as we are getting characters who act in a way we dislike with motivations we understand. We've met with a few 'military' men in the story who have been... let's be polite and call them jerks. Thankfully the author likes to give both us and the MC some reasoning to understand the actions taken rather than just letting the MC smite everyone who is rude to him. There also is an undercurrent of the almighty beings in this story which has me very interested. This devleopment isn't grandmaster level but is above and beyond what we usually get on royal road so I do want to praise the author for actually giving us motivational details.

Story:

It's slice of life, which means 15 chapters isn't enough to get us our starting cast let alone the arc. That being said we do have a lot of small hints going on. I think we'll have a few layers of background events driving this story. The first layer being the political struggles of the world their in, and the second layer being the gods who control the summonings. The depth main character personality has been expanded recently to include a strong desire to seek out what I'll refer to as change. I say expanded because I feel a mistep in how the character acted early on, which didn't convey this aspect at all. However, lorewise it makes perfect sense thus I'm fine with it. This is honestly should help move the plot forward as the main character will likely be attracted and seek out large happening and be involved in them. Our main character doens't wish to be a monarch but with a desire for change I imagine he'll be as influential as one on this world.

Grammar:

It's okay. I lost my ability to judge much more than a few levels of quality after forcing myself to read MTL Chinese web novels. After you figure out how to read that anything that just flows okay seems great so I'm not too picky on this.

Style:

It's a bit early to judge the style totally the naration appears to be a mixture of first person and third person omniscient. I think this is fine as I personally enjoy the extra details and it allows for authors to easily provide details to the readers without having to put too much effort into it. It makes for an easy read but isn't quite as impressive as working everything into well crafted dialogue and observations. Still it's  more than pasasable for a webnovel and I really wish more authors would use this crutch as it's far better than having every character voice aloud their thoughts.

Overall:

I'm really liking this story. I can only hope the author doesn't fall into the trappings so many other authors take when having an overpowered MC. Sadly they really get a bad rep these days but some of my favorite stories on here include them yet some of the worst also do. Still I'm hoping this can fill the void that 'Number One Under Heaven' left for me. I don't think these stories will be too simlar but they're close enough and I've truely missed a good MC who is OP.