Aeon Chronicles: The Frozen Calamity

by greentleevis

Original HIATUS Adventure Fantasy Horror Psychological Anti-Hero Lead Grimdark LitRPG Magic Male Lead Strong Lead Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

 

Book 1 now available on Kindle Unlimited! https://www.royalroadl.com/amazon/B07BKR6FWT

A dark litRPG novel. 

Contains GORE, PROFANITY, and TRAUMATIZING CONTENT. Also contains SOME SEXUAL CONTENT in chapters 13 and 14 so far! 

After a deadly encounter with a forest wolf, Rowan Black survives thanks to stem cell therapy and experimental bionic brain implants. Rowan's body recovers but the treatment leaves his memories fragmented and his psyche shattered into something inhumane, irritable, callous—and a tad bit lustful. When Rowan's doctor fails to notice this, his parents reluctantly sends him back to Westwind Highschool, resulting in the murder of Rowan's past bully.

After serving juvenile detention in a psychiatric center for two years, 18-year-old Rowan is offered a choice by a powerful corporation: Either spend the next decades in a psychiatric prison or play in their fully-immersive virtual reality game, Aeon Chronicles Online, and grow into the role of the world's next major raid boss that players must defeat.

Will Rowan regain his old psyche? How will Aeon Chronicle’s AI controller react to Rowan’s unique mind? Will Rowan receive help in a team-oriented game or is he alone? Find out in this 130k+ word, dark LitRPG novel!

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greentleevis

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nugy
  • Overall Score

Spoiler below about class

just to save others trouble, MC class

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

mypoorbrain
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started ok... but gradually failing

I liked the dark theme in the beginning, but this is turning out to be a love story with an idiot mc

BlackRazaras
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This will be the first fiction I write a review on and I have read a lot of fictions on this website. This fiction is jsut amazing. At the time of this review he has uploaded chapter 17

The premise of the world and plot is great. Shares some common things with other fictions like an AI that knows about the real world and can influence the game in a way the creators didn't think of. However it is just a varient and does not influence the way you read the book. 

The characters are getting better and better and are starting to flesh out. 

The writing style and grammar of the author is improving with every chapter and starting from chapter 16 I saw a major improvement and I can only compliment him and ask him to keep going!

Final words, just give it a try and you will fall in love with this story as I have. 

bluebug
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As of the 17th february 2018, chapter 16 (rewritten) being uploaded, I believe this story does have potential. It starts off really rough, and it might be better to just skim starting from chapter 1, and then read on when things start to go analytical.

Style: The style starts off really rough at the beginning, multiple redundancies and clarity issues, however, it gets better over time. There have been a few moments where the author manages to pull the reader in in a wave of emotions.

Story: It starts off with a cliché background told in a more impassive way. However, the story itself is completely original (as far as I know), and actively draws the reader in. The world does have some depth to it, with the village being built by guilds (read between the lines) etc. A couple of issues are still open, left to be answered in later chapters.

Grammar: No notable grammar mistakes found, only redundancies, which belong to the style category.

Character: At some parts I feel like the author is trying too much to put them into this or that position/perspective, but that's more my personal opinion. The characters act convincing, however I personally note some minor inconsistencies (That might not affect your reading experience).

This is an advanced, more critic-styled oriented review requested by the author. Feel free to PM me whether you agree / disagree with me after you've read up to chapter 4.

If I remember to check it again in the future, the review might change.

CrisonZombie123
  • Overall Score

As of chapter 24

At the start it was very good. It reminded me off a more insane Jason from awaken online. But half way through another MC joined and turned him into the opposite of what he should be for an insane person even after meeting the dark god or whatever, the story was ruined by her.

Cruxio
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That Idiot that didn't read the Tutorial

 Con:

A brainwashed MC who is supposedly immoral cold and calculative murderer. So angsty and gets swept around by a pussy because she is the first one to give him attention. Ignorant to the basics and gets powerup as often as you get ads.

A Joffrey Baratheon worthy mentality. Vows to drown the world in chaos and punish everyone he sees. The resemblance is uncanny, if you replace Gabby with Cersei. For those who are looking for lemons, go back! there is nothing to see here.

Visions and probabilites. The game is run by an AI, and most high ranking AIs so far has this bullshit ability to predict the future and the MC just eat it up like a lepper given soup in winter.

Light and Dark. Another bullshit by the AI. There are only less than 10 or so dark players out there and you need skill scrolls to learn skills which the light players hoards like a tolkien dragon. And thats not the worst part. You can't be dark without being a psychotic madman. And world is so advanced that there is hardly anyone like that(bullshit) or so they told.

Pros:

The prologue.

tldr: You're not good with villain MC. Or would make any game worth playing.

DrSupbro
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Could Have Been Legendary, but Ended Up Just Good

Before anyone downvotes me to hell: I like the story. 

This review is as of Chapter 23. Will be updated as I get further. From other comments saying it goes downhill in the mid 20s, I am a little worried. It does seem like it could get better as the story progresses though. So far it's been a bit rocky. 

Even though this has nothing to do with my rating, I really want to see what the MC looks like. Because, I originally thought he was going to be that guy in the cover, but the MC doesn't use a sword and wouldn't have heavy armor. So, he must be the devil that is sealed. I really just want to see what the hell the MC looks like, and I am hoping it doesnt turn out to be some crappy, ugly looking guy in a robe surrounded by darkness because he is supposed to be evil. 

Petty critique aside, this story could have been better. The MC is the villain. He is supposed to ruin the world, and destroy everything. He ends up seeing a glimpse of the most likely future and it turns out to not be anything he wanted. 

Sure, that is ok, and it is very understandable. Him gaining the power to allow his undead servants a 'second evil life' is also a good way to advance plot and create his own evil world without it being dull and boring. 

However, what really ruined it was how the second 'mc' Gabrielle ruined it. Rowen all but fell head over heels for her and is now considering her thoughts in everything. There is an attempt to build a love connection between the two despite how iffy it is right now. 

That love (mostly on Rowen's side) caused him to make a deal with the AI which essentially changed who he is, and why we originally stuck with the story. Of course him being mad that the doctor purposefully changed who he is was a main reason, but him stating this decision was also so Gabrielle wouldn't end up sad was definitely mentioned. Having that crazy MC being the bad guy is great. But now it is slightly less great. This can be dealt with though. 

The story as a whole is pretty good. The world is there and so are the interactions. The plot, though, is a little armored with how Gabrielle sort of made him into who he is pretty early on without him having to do anything. The main characters so far consist of 3 of the people from his old school as well. 

Along with making the MC less of a psycho, the other thing that brought down the story was the lack of actual effort on the MC's part, and the inconsistency with the leveling. 

It should have been a gradual rise to power over time as he did things for himself, and not just having Gabrielle magic him up 60 levels then drag him into the ritual to get his class. 

It almost feels like the author wanted so desperately to get to the juicy action that he said "To hell with the plot." It really upsets me because a gradual rise to power could have been so interesting to watch. Having the MC literally become a demon knight so strong that he could take on entire armies at once would have been incredible. But instead he opted to have ANOTHER necromancer story, and his path to greatness has been and will most likely continue to be cheesed. 

^Bold part important

Anyway, I had been talking about the leveling system before but went past it. Now I am going back to it. The leveling system is honestly a joke. There isn't a set standard of growth really, and a level one is able to buy gear and use it as if they were level 90, and use that gear to kill people (they just can't get the equipment bonuses). He also ended up killing a level 80ish wizard by shooting him with an arrow. The inconsistency with damage, stats, and equipment is annoying and should be fixed. 

Hell, he made a tiny scratch on a Dwarf's cheek early on and hit him for 10 damage out of the Dwarf's 250 or something. 

By all of this logic, even if he became that amazing Demon Knight I was talking about, he wouldn't be able to fight off an army of people because he might die to a couple level 80s shooting arrows at him. 

Besides my rant about how crappy leveling is, the story is good. You should give it a read and rate it for yourself, I just feel like it could have been so much better. 

Xander
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Good Read with Excellent Potential

A good story with amazing potential.  A little of a rough start, however it does not detract from the story in the long run.  Definitely recommended to read.  Almost a little clichè at times, however those points add some depth.

MrMnds
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First off, it is a well written story. Even though I dislike the "flashback"/"it all happened..." approach. I admit, it is well written story... with garbage content.

My 4 garbage detection points:

1- MC needs Deus Excuses for his evilness, which feels futile because evil opposes reason, sure, some villains do have tragic origins and whatever, but most of the good "origins" type of story came up after the success of the said villain.

Off-topic: I'm yet to see why RRL people are persistent on Deus Excuses to forge their characters, maybe the problem lies with the "fantasy" tag and my tastes, who knows...


2- Romantic pair right on the beginning. You know? Romance is a tiresome thing and this truth is known for ages, it also explains why the classics have their conclusion right when the romantic pair finds union. Of course, it is possible to focus a story on this union/break element (Re: Life), but you spent too much energy on "fantasy" for it.

3- I got tired when a mimic caught the MC and barely read the next chapter, the third point is here to check if all the background c*ap have purpose. How traits like "MC played games a lot" and "MC is a smart psycho" leads to "MC was arrogant and got jailed right at the start" and "MC dies on the first trap"? I would suggest a rework on this background stuff, however, two reviewers already pointed out how this story deviates from its originality, so, I suppose you changed your mind while writing and did a poor adaptation.

4- Easy mode, MC never played a VRMMO, have unpolished sensorial skills to kill and just murdered someone out of rage. How come this MC finds himself able to openly bully an apparent innocent NPC as well as to headshot enemies 50 levels higher? Also, if the MC is this amazing without any effort, why isn't the rest of the world? Plot armor?

Lord Vile
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Just plain awesome, good main character, good world, good style and a really cool plot, what more could you ask for
Sorry, invisible spoiler tab, cant get rid of it