Zero Tamer

by falcun

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Grimdark LitRPG Magic Male Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity

An heir to one of the seven Royal families and current ruling family Rinox Firestorm is finally of age to be tested to find out what kind of monster tamer he will become. 

This is my first-time writing anything more than a short story so let us see how it goes.

[also I do not own the cover picture and would cite them but found it off google. If the owner wants it removed just let me know or if someone does a fan art... when or if I get fans that is]

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  • Pages :
  • 117
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falcun

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Bookmaggot
  • Overall Score

Not all doom and gloom

For anyone out there who doesn't find the torture and misery in the first few chapters to their taste, his situation does become much better after chapter 10 or so. Definitely looking forward to the rest and glad I gave it a chance.

creadith
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I really enjoy this story, the only thing I would criticize is the lack of commas, they are very important to the flow of the story, and without them, it's easy to get lost and forget who's speaking. Of course, always monitor the number of commas for who's speaking, but always use them anywhere it seems appropriate.

Zed_Oud
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
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  • Character Score

Great Start, smooth execution.

I've read up through Chapter 9 as of this review.

Overall - Great story, great setting, engaging and useful dialogue. Fast pacing, but I expect that that is because I've only read your introduction so far. You've introduced much of your world with minimal explanation, and few can pull of that without leaving key details accidentally overlooked or lost.
I don't really like stories where the MC experiences what has happened to him so far, but I can definitely make an exemption because of the way you've conveyed the key parts of the negative aspects, as well as the story justifications and his reflections on what has happened.

4 to 5 = 4.5 - Style - Great use of dialogue but lacking contextual descriptions. Scene transitions are pretty good. Characters react dynamically to situations but situations are played out a bit too fast (the scene introducing the warden plays out pretty fast, and could have been used for more expository dialogue, but I understand that this is all being used mostly as prologue).
There are many plusses and minuses to this score, and to be more confident I'd have to see if your current style is beneficial to your story telling past the introduction and if your current style is from greatly refining what you've released and can't keep it up in future releases. I definitely like your style so far.

5 - Story - First, I want to knock this rating down a bit for the rapid pace of the story's start, but as of my current reading, I see the pace settling nicely. Besides story pacing, you've certainly crafted a great setting, and I can see that you have your setting planned out quite a bit, and the mechanics you are laying out are well thought out.
I am left wanting to know more about how this society works around the MC's new place in life, and how he, the things around him, and the world will change throughout the story.

5 - Grammar - Didn't notice anything to complain about.

4.5 - Character - Characters are introduced pretty fast with little context (3.5), but you have a knack for showing character through dialogue and actions and that may end up being worth it in the long run (+1). The MC has good characterization and I've seen character development. Characters are whimsical and organically spontaneous at times (the zero boss), so good job on that.

SlimeAction
  • Overall Score

We Got Antagonist as Our MC

I still reading still not very far. So many might change at later on. You know that snot 3rd rate villain on Wuxia/Isekai story ? Who only big talk because he's son of bigshot ? Want to see/read him put into his place and get "educated" into proper human being ?

Well, this is story for you. You might rotting MC not for winning, but to get proper beat down.

Sir Proper
  • Overall Score

Wasn't sure about it...

 But it got better. I was all, omg so much cliche, but then surprisingly it just got interesting all at once. Nifty story. I say, give it a shot. 

Dougman7
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it good                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      :)

Update:

On hiatus

MrMnds
  • Overall Score
  • Style Score
  • Story Score
  • Grammar Score
  • Character Score

3 Stars, not that good.

Style: Chapters are too short. Try to read 1 of them, wait 5 minutes and read the next one, does it feel strange? Yep, it does. Also, some descriptions are really needed.

Grammar: Fine, I guess?

Story: Let me see, arrogant MC got karma'ed, suffers and becomes obsessed with revenge/joins the dark side/whatever, so put some filler content, fan service and a perma hiatus for another regular story. That's it, the RRL pattern and there's nothing wrong.

Characters: Deus Excuses and undeveloped personalities makes everything bland. Try to put some causes aside, maybe giving a humane side for human elements may change it, dunno, it's your story.