Embrace the Blade

by Valquist

Original ONGOING Adventure Comedy Fantasy Romance LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Reader interactive Reincarnation Strategy Strong Lead Summoned Hero

James Ransom grew up unable to do the simplest of life’s tasks. Legs were malformed; he was in a wheel chair as long as he could remember. Suffering from a severe form of muscular exhaustion making him unable to use his hands for long despite his resolve to fight through it. All the challenges facing him he still was able to enjoy reading and video games; but a tragic car accident will change his life forever and perhaps he will be given the opportunity to reincarnate into another world.

Special thanks to Mikaelle for the Synopsis.

This is my first book/fic so constructive critisism would be very nice. Expect a lot of grammatical errors but hopefully not too many spelling errors.

Explanation for the tags; Action/Adventure/Fantasy: These don't really need an explanation, Comedy: I'll try to be funny hopefully I won't fail miserably, Romance: I like romantic sub-plots, LitRPG: No explanation needed but I am using my own system, Reincarnation/Summoned Hero: Not sure which one applies here I'm inclined to think both so I put both, Reader Interactive: I put this one here for my own amusment I'll allow everyone to help create the MC's love interest and maybe a few other things we will also hold a few contests.. Male Lead: self explanitory, Magic: Also easy, Strong Lead: Think of this as more of a weak-to-strong tag the MC will be OP but not till later in the story.

Warning: Since this fic is labeled as 'Strategy' I believe that the readers should know as much as possible about the situations presented in the story so they can reach their own conclusions about how a fight could have been won or lost. That means: there are a lot of information dumps early on.

I don't know how long I'll be able to write this fic but I promise to keep my few readers informed in case I decide to drop it or something.

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Valquist

Valquist

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Skyblue
  • Overall Score

Not a boring story, only boring characters.

**SPOILERS ABOUND**

The idea is interesting enough, but it lacks in execution.

The MC is described as a smart, calculating person, but a lot of his actions doesn't seem so. Like his gifts, instead of utilizing Lena's knowledge (the world knowledge mind you) to find the best way to train himself, he decides to try it on his own because he thinks it would be "too easy." Seriously? Does he think it's only a game or something? The guy was an invalid before, and now he still wants disadvantages? Is he a masochist?

Lena herself felt a bit two-dimensional. She was a human before this, and she won a "martyr" lottery, but instead of asking a good gift for her next life, she agrees to "enslaved" herself to another person. She could just ask to be reborn as a teacher, but no, she wants to be a slave. If you think I'm a bit too much with using the slave word, well worry not, because she actually refers to MC as master.

Lena interaction with MC felt cringy. She's a human adult before this, and now while she's not a human anymore, she still retains her minds. But she acts so cutely and adoring only because she thinks the MC likes that. And even their confrontation (there is only one as of this writing) felt so cringy.

And the last one. MC was a cripple before, yet he qualified as a gold belt in kungfu. Apparently, not only that he mastered their breathing technique, he also understand all the techniques... I don't know how high is a gold belt, but if you can't do any physical activity, I don't think you deserve even a white belt, even if you've already memorized all of their teaching materials.

TeriyakiChickin
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I don’t know what Earthsea is getting at

So, Earthsea, to argue that Lena is not a flat character, claims that it takes time for a charcter to develop, which is partially true. But, Earthsea completely disregards that the author has already dedicated an entire chapter to Lena’s character, and she is no less 2D after it. He did’t give her any motive, so we still don’t know why she wants to teach so badly. He shows signs of her having a problematic past, but it was a single sentence that was not expanded upon. Also, it doesn’t always take time to craft a round character. A  good author can make a character feel real in a single sentence. 

Another thing. Eartsea, you talk of the author as if he is meticulously creating an extremely detailed story like a veteran watch maker. The author has admitted to writing a chapter on his phone in a single car ride. This is not the Mona Lisa, he is not da Vinci. This is RRL, a site filled to the brim with majority being mediocre to terrible works. 

I won’t even mention the excessive gramatical errors, small chapters, and author’s acknowledgement and overuse of “info dumps.”

To Earthsea I say, before you criticize a competent reviewer, you must too be one.

Also, to the author, you have a great style in the works, and, with heavy grammar fixes, your story would be a pleasant read.

interesseret
  • Overall Score

Interesting, but a chore to read

 The story in an of itself is not bad, but 75% of what we read is data and exposition. This is a severe case of "tell dont show", and its honestly just boring to read.

Horst
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nothing special so far

I've read up to the current chapter ( 30 ) and up to this point it's nothing special.

Style Score : The style isn't bad or anything, if i would have to describe it in one sentence i'd be : Not bad but kinda bland. 3.5/5 for a RoyalRoad Story

Grammar Score : Average grammar, no glaring mistakes but i think i spotted some typos here and there. Some sentences feel a little off to me. 3/5 for a RoyalRoad Story

Story Score : So far it progressed very slowly and at about 140+ pages you could expect the story speed up a bit. Thus 3/5

Character Score : The characters are mostly flat up to this point, the chapters that were supposed to shape out the characters couldn't change the image i had of them in my mind. Especially the MC feels bland and boring, i read stories in which the MC was nothing more than a cardboard figure that worked better than the MC here. I can't really pinpoint what irks me about the MC but he feels really expendable to me. You could exchange the MC with any other character out there that is motivated to train and likes books... 2.5/5 for a RoyalRoad Story

 

Note for the Author, i don't give a lot of stars in reviews simply because nothing on this site deserves 5 stars and most users don't even try differentiate when they rate, because of that you have really really bad stories with 4+ Scores which is just wrong.

 

Saulace
  • Overall Score

What's with these reviews?

I'm really enjoying this story.  It has alot of promise of lowbrow skills becoming super important.  .. balance for example.  Everybody's got some complaint, (I read the comments). So far, my only complaint is, on the earlier chapters, his personal opinion of the skill, came before the actual skill discription.   Bugged me then, but, no longer.  A couple awkward sentences here and there..  So?  Some of you guy are doing 3 stars across the board.  I don't understand this.  For me at least, it's super entertaining. Can't wait for more.  I'd rate it 4.5 for a few awkward sentences (I can't turn underline off, I mean what I say)

Calavente
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this review will be a bit bland as we are only at chapter 6, but I have to give it a try.

I got hooked in.

I found at first that the initial "I'm a cripple but will become OP" would be overdone as a way to raise the sympathy pool of the MC but it's different.

It seems this feature will become part of the plot (I expect that he'll somehow meet the other reincarnated he doesn't know yet about... and that the premise were necessary for this subplot part)

We already get a possible political plot/archennemy (at chapter 4 ! yeah)

the 3 encountered characters are well enough developped... each at the measure of their importance in the narration (the MC, the Princess, the Overseer)

 

you have to try it.... and at least follow until you find something (that hopefully will not arrive) that displease you.

Kydsdad
  • Overall Score

Just a general review for now, will update as book grows.  So far i am really enjoying the story, i especially enjoy MC and Lena interactions and her little side story was enjoyable as well.  Thanks for the hard work and please keep it up, so far this is an excellent book.

Earthsea
  • Overall Score

After reading the Story again after seeing the review from sky blue I have to say that the person who reviewed the story is coming from a flawed basis: he wants everything spelled out

that doesn’t work with this story

The author has put a lot of time in planning the story giving it lot of foreshadowing and plot points in the subtlety of the characters actions 

case in point: Lena. First described as a martyr. Who chose to be a cute slave while abandoning everything that made her, Her. 

Seriously that’s it. How much the author expands that determines if she is a two dimensional character or not. the story is still too new for that information to already be written and the author doesn’t want to spoon feed you.

This isn’t like other stories in that everything about the character is explained in the chapters that they appear wait for the story to be fleshed out before calling a character 2D 

and last I checked if someone only has the KNOWLEDGE required for a gold belt DOESN’T mean the ARE. I could have the knowledge to fly planes doesn’t make me a pilot it just illustrates how much knowledge the MC has

P.S. Author you’re doing a great job keep up the story!

Tanhalevi
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[Insert positive inspirational message.]

Good job.

 

No, seriously, good job.

I would like to give you all 5/5,  but I am going to keep reading and full marks may make you too proud to keep improving :p

 

Gonna, however, give 5 stars for your grammar and for the characters.

(Thanks for your Author note in chapter 30 or I would have missed or forgotten some details ★ )

WillyH
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Love this one. Still training arc though so I cant say much. But Great potential, more kung fu  and more magic and more excitement please. ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺. some sidestory could be nice