Earth to Rae

by llun

Original HIATUS Action Adventure Fantasy Romance Harem LitRPG Magic Male Lead Non-Human lead Reincarnation Strong Lead
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content

Rae, who has had a terrible childhood, died saving Mary -his sister from his family who saved and adopted him when he was younger- from a stalker. Afterward, a god who looked no older than a 14-year old boy, expecting his sister, appeared before him. Rae's soul is then sent into the body of a goblin vampire in a world called Altera. Now, Rae must journey through a new world that strangely resembles many fantasy worlds created through literature and video games he’s familiar with to get back to Earth and reunite with his adoptive mother and sister.

Rae: Goblin? Vampire? Cursed? And what the hell is Electra's Gift?!

***Warning: first story ever. Will definitely have many errors although I will try my best to rectify them beforehand. If you have any constructive and *not* abusive criticism, then please do not hesitate to comment. Also, the prologue is a bit slow but will have a large time skip in Chapter One.***

 

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llun

llun

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Fearful
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Story following the reincarnation of the main character the story seems to get increasingly slower. In some of the chapters it is almost as if nothing happens. We almost get nowhere except to set up for the next chapter. It gives a nasty feeling of not wanting to read until there is more than one release. Moving forward however once the pacing is taken out the development of the story is incredible; if you can deal with mc being a slave. 
edit: The pacing is already starting to get fixed but development is still ongoing. 
 
Characters My first thought after seeing how overpowered the mc would be was, "He's never going to have any competition...". Reading further we find out he is not going to have it as easy as we thought. His personality shows in a lot of situations which makes us understand and like the mc more. This can be a detrimental thing if the author doesn't stick with or slowly change this because once you know the personality you look for those traits. 
 
recommendations Please fix the pacing of the story that is the most important and noticeable improvement that I see in your story. The way I usually see other authors fix this is by thinking of each chapter as a complete day. You don't want to go through a day without feeling accomplishments however one day/chapter you can do nothing, but keep it minimized. 
 
I hope you take my review with a grain of salt. I truly recommend this story. If what I said you disagree with or the story develops more and my review is wrong let me know. I will probably have forgotten I left this here.

 I don't usually leave reviews as my writing can't be considered good at all, however I'm making this exception because I want to see this story succeed. Any way I can help is worth it to me. 

Sundjin
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Overall, this could be a good story. It certainly has the potential to develop into something great. As it stands however, I find it has some flaws that i personally don't like. An MC that starts out op and as of chapter 13 seems to only be on the path to become truly op very soon. The story itself is good, but some parts are difficult for me to appreciate. The fact that the MC is refered to as really beautiful, beautiful enough for grown men (who don't appear to swing that way) the same gender as him to fawn over him at level one is something i find a bit annoying. If my guess is correct about what will happen in coming chapter [SPOILERISH] the MC will also find an OP ally and various other things that will just fall into his lap.

 

Despite these things that I personally find to be flaws, there are those that like these types of stories so eeh. The reason i believe this story to have potential is however the worldbuilding and fact that the MC starts out in a low position and has already met several beings that also seem OP, or at least very powerful. 

So perhaps my ideas about the MC being op from level 1 will be counterbalanced by the fact that other beings area also op. 

So in summary I believe this story to have potential, especially for those who enjoy the OP MC with a whole host of abilities. Me, I personally prefer MCs in this type of story to start slow, with few abilities and then organically, with storybased reasons, branching out from there. As this story is still quite short and in its initial stages I believe that if the author continues improving this will either become my kind of story (after some editing) or, if continuing on this track, a story that will be quite enticing for those that enjoy the stories of OP MCs that everyone fawns over. Also some otaku stuff in there that made me slightly cringe.

If the author would like me to reread and reassess my review then feel free to send me a message, and i will most likely do so.

Shakeel
  • Overall Score

I can't find fault with your novel tbh. Just remember pacing and to give characters some development. But, you're already doing that sooo..... 

Shadow8ting
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As of chapter 7 this story has been excellent.

I especially like how the mc seems to be so smart.

Radagast
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Probably the best story on RR

The story is slower pace but so far this rival void wolf which says something......I really hope this author dosent give up because I can see him taking top 10 spot if he keeps working on it and not lose hope

Spartanstoryteller
  • Overall Score

This story has a nice pace to it with enough action to keep the bloodthirsty warmongers sated and even though the main character hides his strength the author doesn’t abuse that as some crappy primary plot drive like so many other authors Rae is also OP but far from the top all in all this story is fun and I can’t wait to read more of this

paramount41295
  • Overall Score

It may not be original hell nothing is nowadays but it is just different enough to be really fun and an absolute joy to read