Omaye: The First Chronicle Of Zion

by Kelvinking

Original HIATUS Adventure Drama Romance Sci-fi Cyberpunk Female Lead Grimdark Harem LitRPG Magic Male Lead Martial Arts Multiple Lead Characters Non-Human lead Reader interactive Slice of Life Strategy Strong Lead Summoned Hero Supernatural Virtual Reality
Warning This fiction contains:
  • Gore
  • Profanity
  • Sexual Content
  • Traumatising content

Zion, the next frontier of virtual reality games that pushes the very boundaries of the word reality. It was meant to be next pleasure attraction for a planet with twelve billion people. Now.....its their home. 

The suns core becomes unstable and star which has seen the rise of humanity and even contributed to its growth, is about to be its end. The only way to survive the upcoming solar storm was to transfer permanently, the consciousness of every willing participant into Zion. A virtual reality game whose server was built as an actual moon orbiting a somewhat hospitable planet in the next galaxy. This is the story of how a broken family got another chance at life, of betrayal, of triumph, of sin, and of love. 

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Since there’s only one chapter at the moment, due take this review with a pinch of salt and know that my opinion and rating of this novel may change in the future.

The story seems slow paced but with a long chapter instead and a lot of information and character building right off the bat, I’d say it adds up nicely.


NOW THEN, spoilers ahead. Since this is a review of chapter 1, that’s only to be expected, right? Good.


There are, currently, 3-5 lead characters, namely Esther, the eldest child, Nathaniel, the second eldest and Faith, the youngest. There’s potential for the mother and father to be lead characters as well, but the novel has only made use of the childrens POW in the first chapter, hence the “3-5 lead characters”. The chapter did, however, make the most use out of Nathaniels POW, so I’m willing to say that Esther and Faith may be lead support/side characters while Nathaniel is the, true to the name, MC. But let’s see how it turns out.

I believe describing the characters amongst a few other things would be expected in a “good(?)” and “thorough (there’s only one chapter, HOW CAN THIS BE THOROUGH?)” review.


The family: Consists of a mother (no name given), father (same) two daughters and one son. The whole family is of royal descent, though the family has, over several generations (I think), been degraded to the point that they now live next to a steel factory that the family once owned. I assume that either only either the mother or the father is actually of royal descent, since only the mother has red hair after the virtual integration (not white like the others), though her and the daughters eyes are violet (not sure about Nathaniels since they weren’t described). This should dissuade the possibility of the royal family having been... keeping their blood pure. Since then the mothers hair would also be white, since that’s seemingly the dominant gene, unless both of her parents had the gene for red hair (not necessarily having red hair, just the gene).

Nathaniel: 19 years old, 6’2, African, former drug addict and member of various cults though that changed when he got red pilled. Had a new incurable type of cancer before the virtual integration, may or may not be gone depending on exactly how the game picks and chooses what to copy. White unkept hair reaching his mid back (after virtual integration). Eye colour unknown.

Esther: No age given but older than Nathaniel. May or may not have been sold to prostitution at the age of 15 (it was mentioned, but I’m not sure if it happened, or just Nathaniel being spiteful towards his mother). Sold her body in order to get the family tickets and a contract of servitude (let’s see what the contract entails besides what’s mentioned in chapter 1, later). White hair with purple eyes

Faith: 14 and the only normal person in the family. Also, seemingly, the new object of Nathaniels new cult being “Faith is innocent and pure and has to stay that way to save this messed up family.” White hair and purple eyes.

Mother: May have sold Esther to prostitution when Esther was 15. Unfaithful in marriage. Red hair and purple eyes. Not a lot else at the moment.

Father: 6’4, drunkard and abusive. Previously bald but now having white hair.


I checked out some of the authors other works, and I’m afraid to say that none has gone beyond 329 pages but I’m hoping this is the one that will, and go way beyond at that.


What might be to come (bear in mind this is only speculation on my end):

They spend the 2 years developing while bound by the contract with a focus on character building and limited world building, since they can’t leave through portals without their employers consent.
There are exceptions to the possibility above, for example if someone in the family gets a good relation with someone in the family they are employed to. Though they’d still be heavily restricted, it opens up for more world building than posibility 1.
They escape the contract and run. A mix of character and world building with the family in further disorder and exploration of the new world.
They kill their employers, though I guess it would be Nathaniel that would do that, considering the novel has the grimdark tag with traumatising content, coupled with his obsession(?) for keeping Faith pure and a glorified slave contract to boot... Yeah. Followed by more running, since I doubt mass murder is legal.
Someone else kills their employers or the contract somehow gets terminated legally, which would probably be the most bland option the author could choose, but who knows.

Of course there are some mandatory things as well. Like keeping Faith pure. And keeping Faith pure. And kee- don’t you dare sully Faith.


Anywho, it’s a great first chapter that opens up a lot doors, so I’ll be eagerly awaiting the next chapter.