Demon Hero Reaper Saviour

by

mushashi

Chapter 20 – Two Can Play That Game

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The boy slumps back into his chair, immediately feeling guilty and regret about what he has done. He shouldn't have done that to Porkins. Except for his habit of taking the extra muffins every now and then, the sixth year student is a great guy. Even though Porkins is older than them, he was one of the few who chose to answer Athorius’s call for aid when Athorius wanted to rescue the boy from being executed a few years ago…

Or is it a few years from now? Fuck! This time travelling stuff is tricky. And the intense hunger is wrecking havoc on the boy's mood and getting in the way of his thinking. The boy sighs. Better get some food in me, the boy finally decides. Or else he might end up snapping the neck of the next assassin Master Haithur will send because he was in a foul mood.

Before the boy could get up and fetch himself some breakfast, someone approaches him from his blind side. The boy doesn't need to turn his head to see who it is, he already knows the person and is unfortunately acquainted with her.

“Here you go, Master. I've already brought you some food. I’m afraid I don’t know Master’s taste yet, which is why I've taken the liberty of taking a little bit of everything.”

The boy stares at Pigtails Girl whose arms are full with plates, filled to the brim with all kind of food (sadly there are no blueberry muffins). It doesn't look like Pigtails Girl has done anything “special” to them. The boy sighs again. He wanted to say something to Pigtails Girl, but a gut feeling tells him he needs to eat first in order to gain some strength to survive the imminent verbal battle ahead.

Pigtails Girls begins putting the plates in front of the boy. Thankfully, there are no other people sitting at the nearby tables (they have long made their escaped when the boy started talking to the sixth year male student) which spares the boy the humiliation of being seen with an embarrassed face.

“Please enjoy your meal, Master.”

“Thanks…” the boy mutters awkwardly before he begins eating the food that has been laid out in front of him. In a short while, he has already finishes his plates clean, all of them. Pigtails Girl doesn't even bat an eyelid at the speed of the boy’s eating. She just stands there and smiles proudly, watching her “Master” as he devours the last of the food.

“Shall I fetch you some more food, Master?”

“No, that’s enough for me. You’re not going to eat?”

“How could I eat before Master has done eating? I shall attend to your needs first before I eat anything, Master.”

“Yeah, about that… why don’t you have a seat right over there for me.”

“Master?”

“Please take a seat.”

“A maid cannot sit in the same room at the same time while her master is still si-”

“If a maid is good enough to take care of the master and his family, take care of his children, why can’t she sit at the same table as well!”

“…”

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to snap. Still digesting my food. Please, take a seat opposite of me.”

“If Master commands it.”

“I am not ordering anyone anything!”

“…”

*sighs

“We are just two normal…”

“…”

“We are just two typical average ordinary students who are about to have a civilized conversation. Please…”

“As you wish, my Master.”

The boy sighs again. It’s going to be a long day to what already has been a long morning. The boy looks at Pigtails Girl who is sitting in front of him and thinks. He rummages through the jumbled mess, so many thought and memories jangling in his dusty old head, trying to find the best way to end this unpleasant business quickly.

Common etiquette when dealing with members of the opposite sex is to compliment them. "Say something nice about her earrings or that she looks good in those shoes." The boy recalls a distant memory about his best friend giving him advice.

"And for Gods sake, stop being… you." the distant memory adds.

“I can do this.” the boy thinks quietly to himself. “I can stop being me for five minutes.” The boy decides to start with something simple. “Nice maid costume…”

“Thank you, Master. I’m glad you like it. I had to borrow this dress from one of the maids serving the elite students here. It fits kind of tight around the chest area.”

Pigtails Girl suddenly stands up and spins around, as if trying to show off her “supposedly newly-acquired” dress, while smiling her most charming and best smile before finally sitting down. If any other male students were the recipient of such a spectacle, they would have immediately sink to their knees and thank the Gods, maybe sacrificed a goat or two to the temple to show their appreciation at such a wonderful sight. But the boy is… well the boy, and he is immune to such charms.

“Yeah right.” the boy snorts. “That maid costume is from your own collection.” The boy knows Pigtails Girl has several costumes in her secret stash. There’s a nurse costume, a nun costume, a secretary/teacher costume etc. Pigtails Girl also has in her possession two peculiar costumes: a bunny girl suit and a cat girl suit. Both which have detachable tails that are suppose to connect to… wait, are those… the boy shudders.

Whoever said ignorance is bliss is on to something. The boy doesn't even want to know what Pigtails Girl is up to in her spare time... wearing one her costumes... laying alone on her bed. Actually he knows, but he really doesn't want to.

"Hey, remember when I said you should stop being you? Well, you’re still you! Which is the opposite of who I told you to be!" the distant memory from the boy’s past chides him.

“Fuck! I forgot! I didn't even get past 30 seconds.” the boy also scolds himself quietly.

“Ah, as expected of Master. To be able to see through my deception easily. Please forgive me for lying to you, Master. I didn't want to admit to something so embarrassing.”

The boy wanted to retort to Pigtails Girl that she had done something far more embarrassing to the soup served to the elite students, but he managed to stop himself… barely (he had to bit his lips so hard, it nearly drew blood).

“Anyway…” the boy quickly changes the subject. “About this silly Master/Maid business, I’m afraid a mistake has been made. I was under duress, you were under duress. And we’re both entered into something, this relationship, that none of us (mainly me) wants to.”

“Hmm?” the "maid" tilts her head inquisitively to the side, as if not understanding. “Stop trying to act so cute and innocent, I already know the real you!” is what the boy wanted to say if not for his tremendous will power (more lip-biting this time as well).

“Look, you’re under the impression that if you don’t become my servant and follow my orders, I will rat out your secret to the world. Well I’m not that kind of person. Your secrets are my secrets, they are safe with me.”

The boy leans forward to look into the beautiful unblinking eyes of Pigtails Girl. “I give you my word as a soldier and a gentleman that I will not expose you, even under threats of pains or death. This I swear.”

“Is Master telling me he will never tell my secret to anyone?”

“Yes.”

“And that I am no longer forced to obey Master’s orders anymore?”

“Yes.”

“I understand.”

“Oh thank the Gods fina-“

“I will follow Master out of my free will from now on.”

GODSDAMMIT!

*slams table

Pigtails Girl is seriously going to be the end of me if I let her, the boy quietly thinks in frustration, his left hand massaging his head which is now suffering from a massive migraine (his right hand is also massively sore from slamming the table just now). Ah, screw it, the boy thinks. Between the new changes in his dream last night and the incident at the courtyard this morning, the boy has bigger things to take care off. He will be meeting the headmaster soon and it will be mildly… unpleasant. The boy needs to make some preparations in order to survive that.

“Does Master want something to drink before your meeting with Headmaster Joss?”

“How did you…”

“You don’t have to be a genius or a mind-reader or a time-traveler to know there will be consequences from Master’s actions this morning.”

The boy is deeply impressed. He could almost crack a smile… almost. Looks like Pigtails Girls has some hidden depth as well underneath all those… perversion.

“Would Master like to drink tea or coffee?”

“Coffee please.”

“Ah but Master is still growing. Coffee would be bad for you.”

“Then why did you offer me a choice between tea and coffee?”

“The same reason why Master offered those students in the courtyard a chance to fight or flee.”

“…”

“Illusions of control.”

“Fuck it. Whatever. Just bring me anything you want.”

The boy watches as Pigtails Girl leaves to get him his drink. He is mildly amused. It’s refreshing to find that even though you theoretically have in your possession almost every knowledge in the world, there are still some things that could still surprise you. Maybe having a maid wouldn't be such a bad ide-

“Here’s your drink, Master.”

“…”

“I've made it especially for you, Master. Please enjoy.”

“How did you…”

“What is it, Master?”

“I mean, I had my eyes on you the whole time...”

“What’s the matter, Master?”

“How the hell did you manage to do… that!”

“Ah, what’s wrong with the drink, Master?”

“What’s wrong? WHAT’S WRONG? There is more… stuff in that tea than there is tea!”

“But by Master’s own words and I quote: ‘Fuck it. Whatever. Just bring me anything you wa-‘“

“I know what I fucking sa- you know what? Fine. Two can play that game. Pigtails Girl, I order you to drink this… tea. After all, it’s a maid’s duty to check and taste her master’s food and drink.”

“I’m sorry, Master, but I have to refuse.”

“I know I’m going to regret asking this… because I already know the answer, but why don’t you want to drink it?”

“Who wants to drink something so disgusting?”

THEN WHY IN THE FUCKING FUCK WOULD YOU EXPECT ME TO DRINK THE FUCKING TEA THAT YOU JUST FUCKING FUCKED!

“Calm down, Master. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”

Hgggggg-

“Breathe, Master. Remember to breathe. Let me explain.”

“…”

“Imagine a girl who would bake cookies or make hand-made chocolates for the person she likes.”

“Okay.”

“Well it’s nothing like that.”

Hgggggg-

“A more appropriate explanation would be: a guy wouldn't be expected to swallow his own you-know-what, right?”

“…”

“Well, the same principle applies here, Master.”

“Hahaha, I understand.”

“You do? Oh thank goodness. I was beginning to think Master wouldn't want to accept my… Master, why are you standing up and bringing that drink towards me?”

“…”

“Master, why are you roughly grabbing my neck and forcefully tilting my head backwards? Master? MASTER? AH, NO! I DON’T WANT TO- BLEURGBERRGH!

********************************************************************************************

Another new rumor began circulating around the Whiteford Academy that day about a Demon boy who mistreated his personal slave because she failed to prepare a drink the way that he wanted.
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mushashi

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Ulvr @Ulvr ago

Quote:“THEN WHY IN THE FUCKING FUCK WOULD YOU EXPECT ME TO DRINK THE FUCKING TEA THAT YOU JUST FUCKING FUCKED!”

“Calm down, Master. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.”

“Hgggggg-”

“Breathe, Master. Remember to breathe. Let me explain.”

“…”

“Imagine a girl who would bake cookies or make hand-made chocolates for the person she likes.”

“Okay.”

“Well it’s nothing like that.”

“Hgggggg-”


so  bloody funny

sikeong @sikeong ago

another liquid gold? LOL

nasir05 @nasir05 ago

HAHAHAHHAHA, THAT ENDING!!! omg this girl.... omg sooo crazy. thanks for the chapter keep it up

AMP @AMP ago

She gave him her cum juice....

AndrewRL @AndrewRL ago

This just became my favorite thing on the site. Sorry all other amazing fictions, this is just TO DAMN FUNNY!

mykusxz @mykusxz ago

This has to be the funniest FF in here at the moment.

FirstDragon @FirstDragon ago

Though I do hope you return to the awesome plot in the near future, I loved these past few chapters of humor & character construction.

Thanks for all the laughter!

akitobdb @akitobdb ago

a good laugh like always many thanks

SnickSnack @SnickSnack ago

04/05/2015 16:15:27FirstDragon Wrote: [ -> ]Though I do hope you return to the awesome plot in the near future, I loved these past few chapters of humor & character construction.

Thanks for all the laughter!


Fuck the plot, the comedy is killing me

Demize @Demize ago

Dude that kind of humor is just fkin hilarous xD im loving that crazy pigtails girl but....are we going to have names anywhere soon?.....