How To Tame Your Princess

How To Tame Your Princess

by DocteurNS

My name is Nicolas

Nicolas "Nick" Siegel.

People say I’m weird.

I don’t know why, and the voice in my head won’t tell me.

Oh well, never mind…

You want a cookie? I baked them myself. With love~?

...You're ridiculous.

Oh, shush.


Author's note:

This is a story about an atypical player in a typical VR fantasy game, (re)written by an author—that's me—who still sucks at delivering synopsises.

Follow the adventures of Nicolas "Nick" Siegel, alias Elric Walker, alias the Wandering Knight, alias the Reckless Imbecile, alias...Victoria—Wait, what? Okay...err...Follow Nick Siegel, a young...man(?) afflicted with mild sociopathy and a worsening case of split personality, as he tries to make sense of the world around him and travels the virtual reality of Untold Tales, battling against undead butterflies, strange curses, and himself, and maybe find love. 

I swear this is a romance!

(Previously: “Tales of the Blood Princess”)


[Sexual Content] is present only in specific side-story chapters which are entirely skippable if you do not wish to read them.


Real reader's comment:

"World War Chicken has been fought. The area is destroyed, blood has been spilled, and the wrecks of the machines of war lay scattered. Mothers have cried, children have been traumatized, and only holy fire can burn away the foul creations spawned in its wake. 

Oh, and a grown man made a complete fool of himself."

 – by Dosahder, at chapter B0-C07.1


Picked review:

"Saying it starts slow is kind of inaccurate. It's more like a long rope attached to a speeding car. Eventually the slack in the line runs out and you're hooked."

 – by ErgoPhobia, on the 13th Dec. 2017

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Author
DocteurNS

DocteurNS

Romantic at Heart

Achievements
3,750 Comments
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Table of Contents
105 Chapters
Chapter Name Release Date
Info, Announcements & Recommendations ago
B0-PRO.1 – The Mild Hunt* ago
B0-PRO.2 – Lock-Less Monster* ago
B0-PRO.3 – I am Legend* ago
B0-C01.1 – Beating Dead Horses* ago
B0-C01.2 – And They Call Him…* ago
B0-C01.3 – Leviticus 11:12 ago
B0-C01.4 – Critterion of Unlife ago
B0-C01.5 – I Am Evil! Stop Laughing! ago
B0-SS:NR – Plot and Plotting ago
B0-C02.1 – Um... What a Twist? ago
B0-C02.2 – Peaceful Aftermath Camping ago
B0-C02.3 – Prom’nons nous dans les bois… ago
B0-C02.4 – STATUS QUID ago
B0-SS:WW – Council Meeting ago
B0-C03.1 – Boredom is a Bridge to Introspection ago
B0-C03.2 – Runes You Fools! ago
B0-C03.3 – Follow the Yellow Brick Road... ago
B0-SS:NO – Back From The Dead ago
B0-C04.1 – A Warm Welcome ago
B0-C04.2 – You Have No Power Here ago
B0-C04.3 – Meeting the Wizard? ago
B0-C04.4 – Is this the point when you ask me to wear green eyeglasses? ago
B0-C04.5 – Witch of the North ago
B0-SS:WW – Troubles Start With Tea ago
B0-C05.1 – A Cat is NOT Fine! ago
B0-C05.2 – Mens Sana(?) In Corpore Sano Et Spatula Gloriosa ago
B0-C05.3 – Third Time’s the Charm ago
B0-C05.4 – Signs ago
B0-SS:NO – Recruitment Issues ago
B0-C06.1 – And God Said “Let There Be Plot!” ago
B0-C06.2 – Takes One to Know One ago
B0-C06.3 – Getting Into It ago
B0-C06.4 – Serendipity is a Beautiful Word (Seriously, look it up.) ago
B0-SS:NO – Evil in a Nutshell ago
B0-C07.1 – The Plot Chickens ago
B0-C07.2 – Painful Memories ago
B0-C07.3 – Apple-Picking and its Consequences ago
B0-C07.4 – Obnoxious, Obnoxiouser, and Obnoxiousest ago
B0-C07.5 – Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain ago
B0-SS:NO – Dark Asparagus Rises ago
B0-C08.1 – Goodbyes Are Poison ago
B0-C08.2 – On the Road Again…Eventually ago
B0-C08.3 – Nowhere Over the Rainbow ago
B0-C08.4 – Hang Gliders…Who Knew, Right? ago
B0-SS:OT – Castle Guard ago
B0-C09.1 – Greenies? ago
B0-C09.2 – Ugh…Zombies. ago
B0-C09.3 – (This story is heading in a strange direction) ago
B0-C09.4 – Cookies! ago
B0-C09.5 – Pony! …Wait, that’s not a pony!? ago
B0-C09.6 – It’s a birdy?! ago
B0-C09.7 – Sleeping Beardy (End of Book 0) ago
B1-PRO – Blood Princess Begins ago
B1-CH01 – The Woman in the High Castle ago
B1-CH02 – On the Fifth Floor ago
B1-CH03 – My Friend the Riajuu ago
B1-CH04 – Close Encounter of the Nerd Kind ago
B1-CH05 – Of Curses and Gods ago
B1-CH06 – Anonymous Infamy ago
B1-CH07 – Dear Diary ago
B1-CH08 – [Narrator] A Good Betrayal Always Opens New Opportunities for Both Parties ago
B1-CH09 – Another One Bites the Dust ago
B1-CH10 – My Hero~ ago
B1-CH11 – First Impressions Are Very Important ago
B1-CH12 – Getting Acquainted ago
B1-CH13 – [Athena] Something Ain’t Right ago
B1-CH14 – Dungeon Break In the Breaking Dungeon ago
B1-CH15 – Out of Nowhere ago
B1-CH16 – There’s No Place like Home ago
B1-CH17 – Nerdy, Phone… ago
B1-CH18 – [Narrator] Return of the Prodigal Squirrel ago
B1-CH19 – ...Home ago
B1-CH20 – Alien vs. Predator: Ratatouille ago
B1-CH21 – [Narrator] Bad Guys Doing Bad Guys Things ago
B1-CH22 – [Athena] Back on the Crazy Train ago
B1-CH23 – Tu quoque mi hirci?! ago
B1-CH24 – It’s like cooking! ago
B1-CH25 – Dara, people DIE of swine flu! ago
B1-CH26 – Not Quite What I Expected ago
B1-CH27 – I’m a Beautiful Butterfly! ago
B1-CH28 – Have a Good Death… ago
B1-CH29 – [Multiple] In the Dark ago
B1-CH30 – Taken ago
B1-CH31 – Highjacked to Hell ago
B1-CH32 – Area 51 ago
B1-CH33 – Out of the Dark… (and into the slightly less dark.) ago
Xmas Eve Bonus! "Interlude - Plants vs. Zombies" ago
B1-CH34 – Back to… Civilisation? ago
B1-CH35 – [Cutscene] Majin: The Scattering ago
B1-CH36 – Shit Happens ago
B1-CH37 – This Girl Is On Fi~re!! [END OF BOOK 1] ago
Book 1 - Epilogue ago
B2-PRO – Everyone is getting ready for the party! ago
B2-CH01 – Guess who’s coming to town? Nope. Not Santa. Try again. ago
B2-CH02 – When you’re just walking down the street, and suddenly you’re a wanted criminal. ago
B2-CH03 – The Legend of the Panty Immortal? ago
B2-CH04 – Deadpan Thief ago
B2-CH05 – Why I should have thought twice before “borrowing” that holy sword ago
B2-CH06 – Don't take life lessons from a crazy old baboon ago
B2-CH07 – Mop & Trauma ago
B2-CH08 – How to Commit Suicide 101 ago
B2-CH09 – Eff You ago
B2-CH10 – Girl, Girls, Girlss? ago
Update (and new story... yeah, yeah, I know. Trust me, I know.) ago

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Reviews
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Van_D
Overall

I  tried reading (I got to book 1 chapter 14) this but I couldn't help get frustrated by the pace and  overall annoyance by how the MC acts. The voice in his head seems to be actually useless as far as plot goes and there are also plots that lead absolutely no where and then plots that feel like they are absolutely useless.

it's hard to tell the direction of the story or what it wants too be some of it is wish fulfillment and other times it wants to be gay gender gender romance with an orc or a sappy drama with a little girl and it gets annoying too see who to care about because characters that seem important end up not mattering to the story at all I tried to reach the point where he meets dorothy again but I just couldn't make it and got fed up with the story I suggest to the author to make a better summary to as this is not what I was expecting to read at all 

PS the main character just becomes annoying as time goes on and his ramblings just halt the story to explain things that dont even matter or add character 

Sorry for any misspelled words or confusing sentences I wrote this on my phone 

denfac
Overall

Well I don't really like virtual reality stories so this might be a bit biased, but i admit that this one is well-written, the characters are funny, the humor is mostly good.

Although there's not much plot per se, the slice of life and virtual reality is still interesting to read, there's a general lack of direction or objective, but really, this had like six chapters, it could change in the future

Magdragon
Overall

Been reading this since before rework. Just keeps getting better and better.

Neka
Overall

im hooked and idk why

Reviewed at: Upodato! Un potato?

I don't even know where to start with why I like this book so much. You have an mc who's hilarious and mentally strange in a way that just makes the comedy better, a writing style that makes you frustrated to the point that you're hooked and you can't wait to see what's next, and a story that you just know is going to end up making all those hours of reading worth it. The only thing i don't like in this story is how the author got caught up with real life business just when it was getting great.

Awesomer
Overall

I've reread this story many, many times. Literary genius. Profile stats would say otherwise but I haven't had an account for long. Anyways that's a bit off topic. The MC is unhinged in a believable way and despite being a sociopathic mess manages to come off as a genuine person. The other characters are similar, just less insane in general. I love this story, 5/5.

MyAwesome
Overall

I need this story to survive!

Spoiler: Spoiler

 

SePax
Overall

Random acts of madness <3

Can't believe that this can get even better than before. Love the madness of the characters and the psychological depth (is it really there?) behind it, which is oh so far from the typical hero with justice (meh) and linear thinking (even worse). So let me commence with a littl wish:

 

May order stay clear of this unholy pair, the sadistic knight and the crazy maiden fair.

For they are from seed of endless chaos grown, which will be all hereafter shown.

 

Uh, shouldn't rhyme in foreign languages, but read it or regret it.

 

All hail Nutrek.

deathbricks
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

A very descriptive title here.

I could write a fair bit about this fic, but i'm tired and wanna re-read it.

The grammar is very well done and i rarely spot spelling errors.

The characters aren't copy pastes with perfect grammar, each has their own way o' speaking and making it work.

The style is.. Well, Ain't unique, because there are a fair amount of slice-of-life and VR fictions. Fiction however, Does both of them well. And is worth the 5 stars.

And lastly the story. It's unique for sure. It's its own story definately worth the read.

crusaderbond
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

Crazy funny. Or maybe Funny crazy. Can't quite tell at times, but it's a wild ride. :D

 

The prequel features a squirrel lich, world war chicken, and other weirdness. Just try it. If you're gonna like it, you'll know pretty quick. 

KarmaGold
Overall
Style
Story
Grammar
Character

I have no idea about the plot.

But I still enjoy it.

Also,characters are amazing.

*submits*

*error*

Damn it. At least 200 characters!?

What do you think I am?A critic?

Ugh. Whatever.